Thursday, February 08, 2007

Insider Tip on Major Film Distribution

HWSRN* learned some trivia about the film distribution system today. You know (or maybe you don't but now you do) that he is a courier in his other life. (What he is in this life we're not sure. Anyway, never mind.)

In the course of couriering, this is what he learned today. Major films are distributed to the theatres that are/will be showing them by a combination of public and "private" transport. Greyhound bus, for one. And HWSRN's courier vehicle aka Minnie Van Nice** for two.

Hannibal Rising is the latest offering in the Hannibal Lecture series. Opening today in theatres throughout North America? I have no idea. I don't pay much attention to such things. Neither does HWSRN.

However, he did deliver two film canisters to a local megaplasticplex today, labelled Hannibal Rising. When he arrived the manager said, both casually and with an apparent wish to impress, "Oh, here's our Hannibal." HWSRN replied, "Yes, I noticed that on the label."

Manager was surprised. "They actually put that on the label?" she asked. "Usually for the big films they don't put the actual title. They name it something else."

Why? you ask. I'll tell you, altho it's obvious if you think about it. To hoodwink potential thieves.

So, next time you see a couple of film canisters on the Greyhound bus labelled something like Truffle Hunting in the South of France you can bet that it's really the latest blockbuster from our Murrican friends.

* For those of you who don't know, HWSRN stands for He-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless. I am his altered ego, as he is mine. I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together. I am not the Walrus.
** Sad to say, but Minnie Van Nice is on her last legs...er...wheels. Still lots of pep. Lots of getup and go, but bits of the body are sagging. Other bits falling off. She won't raise her tailgate anymore, despite HWSRN's manful efforts to get it up. In other werds, the mind's still sharp, but the body's failing. HWSRN will be replacing her soon. 670,000k later.

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