The Yoni School Election Watch Pt. 1

So. Stephen Harpy of the Constipated Party of Canada has promised to reduce the GST by 1% right away, if elected, and then another 1% within five years. His primary opponent, Paul Martinette, the leader of the Gliberal Party of Canada, insists this is not the way to go. He says he will provide income tax cuts for all Canadians, especially those squeezed in the middle.

(This is a long aside but I can’t help it: has anyone ever noticed that the initials of the Constipated Party of Canada are exactly the same as those of the Communist Party of Canada? I don’t mean to connect any dots here, I just think it’s an interesting bit of trivia. The old Progressively Constipated Party of Canada had an interesting acronym too: PCPC. As in Politically Correct! Politically Correct! If you’re a Loblaws shopper or a US citizen, you might like the name President’s Choice Party of Canada. Can you imagine if the Yanks had a choice in a Canadian election? Whom would George W. pick?)

Back to GST. I actually heard Mr. Martinette, our once and former Prime Rib, say on the radio, “Look! (In that way that he says Look!) Canadians have been down this road before…”

No kidding. I’m more inclined to use the phrase, “Canadians have been down this garden path before…”

And just who was it that led us down that path? Why, none other than Mr. Martinette himself back in ’93, I believe, as the author of the Gliberal Ded Book in which he promised to scrap the GST. We remember that, don’t we?

This is all nothing but Canadian electioneering…mouseketeering… M…I…C…K…E…WHY? Because we think you’ll buy it.

What it proves to me is that neither of our biggest political parties have any economic principles by which they are willing to stand. It was the Constipated Party that instituted the GST! And the Gliberal Party which was going to scrap it! Fifteen years later the positions are reversed. But even that has degenerated. The Gliberals promised to end the GST. The Constipated Party now can muster only a reduction. How much you wanna bet they’ll keep that promise just as effectively as the Gliberals kept theirs? Especially if it’s a minority government situation?