The Ministry of Unformation
Today in a startling facsimile of a press conference, Altered Ego Larry Keiler proposed the establishment of a new government department to be known as the Ministry of Unformation. When asked why he thought this was necessary, Mr. Keiler replied, "I really don't want to elaborate too much on that since the matter is before the tennis courts. However, if Vice President Cheney would like to take a shot..."
Several reporters were curious to know who Mr. Keiler thought might make a good Minister of Unformation. In response, Mr. Keiler held up this picture:
Asked why he thought Mr. Gretzky should be appointed immediately to the Sinate, Mr. Keiler provided several pertinent quotes from Mr. Gretzky's Feb. 13/06 confabrication with the media:
"That's not for me to talk about."
"There's no story about me. That's what I keep trying to tell you. I'm not involved."
"Not much really to add to what I said two days ago. Nothing for me to talk about. I'm not involved."
"It's been a hard week."
Mr. Keiler commented that Mr. Gretzky proved beyond a shadow of a doubt how much he could not accomplish in 4 and 1/2 minutes.