Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Yoni School Federal Election Watch 2008 Pt.4

I think it's quite a telling fact that Stephen Harpie & his Constipated Cronies failed to even produce a platform until a week before the election.

And what is this telling fact telling us? It's telling us that Stephen Harpie had no compelling reason to call this election. It was simply cuz he was tired of working with his Constipated minority government, tired of having to cooperate with others. He can't even cooperate with his own ministers, let alone members of those other nasty inconvenient parties. Instead, he does his best to muzzle them. The fact is, Stephen Harpie does not play well with others.

As proof, I offer this excerpt from Harpie's Grade 1 report card:
Stephen does not play well with others. He has a tendency to be aggressive, supercilious and dismissive of others' feelings.
Ms. Michaele Jean

The result of all this is that Little Stephen Harpie really really wanted his majority government, so he decided to call this federal election (on the assumption that he would catch the other parties off guard and without a plan) and instead of coming up with a plan for the future governance of the nation to present to his precious electorate, he chose to run on the extremely fuzzy concept of....LEADERSHIP!

Who's the best leader? Who has the ephemeral qualities of leadership? Why, Stephen Harpie, of course. And not just leadership, but strong leadership. That's what Canaduh needs, a strong leader! (Do I hear Mussolini, anyone?)

Who's the best leader? If you ask Marco Polo, it's Kublai Khan. But I don't think Canajuns are too interested in a Mongol despot.

Leadership implies vision and goals. Stephen Harpie had neither of these when he called the election. OK, he had a goal. The goal was to win a majority government. But what he planned to do with this majority? Well, that's what we're not too sure of.

I will even admit that Harpie has been a reasonable administrator of the national angst. But "leader" and "administrator" are two different animals.

Vision and goals. That's what I want to hear! I want someone to sit down with me at the town hall meeting and answer the question: Whither Canaduh?

(I want someone to answer the question: Why does Larry use words like "whither"?)

I want somebody, anybody, to display even the smallest particle of statesmanship. I want all these guys and gals to demonstrate that they're not simply rowing the ship of state around in circles, hoping no one notices. (And just as an aside, I think that's part of why Obama is so appealing. He's selling vision.)

So anyway, M. Dion & the Belmonts has been hammering away since the debate about Harpie's lack of a plan. And for once, at least, Dion & Belmonts is quite right. Harpie has no plan. (Ironically, at least one of the Constipated attack ads accuses M. Dion & the Belmonts of exactly the same thing. File this under category: Pot Calls Kettle Black.)

Actually, Mr. Harpie's partly right too. M. Dion & the Belmonts has a plan, but only sort of. His plan is to sit down over lunch for 30 days with a bunch of experts and policy wonks and come up with a plan. How's that for a plan?

In the final analysis, Mr. Harpie's election plan has been torpedoed by external events. (Read: US market meltdown.) He's had no good sound bite for this one. He has no idea really what to do about it. (I don't think any of the other leaders do either...)

Harpie called the election for now because he anticipated that Canaduh's economy was about to tank. Better to have the majority before that happened than have to call an election in the middle of a recession. What he didn't foresee was the panic that's currently circulating and how quickly it would infect Canaduh.

So now we're all stuck without a plan. I hereby dub this Planless Plan The Greenback Shift.

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Anonymous said...

Hey Larry, can you vote where you are incarcerated?

Do they let poets vote?

Novelists, I believe, have been emancipated. Or is that emaciated? Or constipated? Not sure...

Anyway, Xena has a Green sign on her green lawn... She figured that she'd be original, since no one else on her street has a green sign. She's the only one. That makes her special, huh?

What the hell am I doing, talking in the third person???? Larry/Gary/Gary/Larry is affecting me...

Okay, it is October, and that means Oktober....fest.

Smack in the midst of an election. In the old days, they used to shut the bars on election day. Does that happen anymore? And heaven forbid, what would that mean to Oktoberfest?

Larry Keiler said...

All good questions, Madame X.

Beginning with the last: Oktfest is open for business. Nowadays (as in the old Macdonald days) the politicians come to the bar. Maybe they'll buy you a beer and you will vote for them.

Second last: We must exercise the third person since, politically and economically, we seem to have entered the fourth dimension. Remember when the formula was: first the depression, then the war? Now we have first the war, then the depression.

Third last: Madame X is beyond special. I like the Green sign. It looks like a sliced lime spreading itself out to be placed on the rim of a Bloody Caesar. The region in the neighbourhood of Yoni School is peppered with Constipated blue.

I sincerely hope novelists are not Constipated. They should know that Stephen Harpie has no feeling for the arts.

Poets may vote. Potes, however, are commonly flogged before dinner.

Speaking of which...First question: I am allowed to vote. Every day. The choices are rice pudding or green jello.

Anonymous said...

I just met Glenn Soulis on a walk back home on Queen Street. He came roaring around the corner from Westmount, hooting his horn. Wondered where I had been. I missed his lunch hour concert at St. Andrews, last Wednesday. Then I remembered that's what I used to do, going to lunch hour concerts, before I got else wise occupied. I got out of that habit, after. Time I don the habit again. Ha, ha.

Glenn was clad in Leder Hosen,and on his way back from an Octoberfest performance in a home for the elderly. He told me that he is taking music lessons to more improve his skills and knowhow. Sjee, I cannot imagine Glenn playing more perfect than he did already. But he says he can tell the difference himself.

When he drove off again, I thought that I should've asked him if he knew how Nonie is doing.

I wondered why the Greens had not approached me for putting a sign on the lawn. I tried to order one on line. Had the whole e-mail done but it wouldn't send out. I had to give an e-mail server name, and I didn't understand the choices.

So, I discovered that my membership expired. Maybe that has to do with it. I'm not at the list anymore. I am used to be reminded when memberships are about to expire.

I'd been considering voting Liberal against that conservative turkey. But my consious won't let me do it. My heart is green.

I filled out an on-line form for getting a sign. It didn't say send on the end but save. I clicked that. Don't know if it gets delivered that way.

A lot of computer stuff still daunts me.

Well, my lawn is green. I put a big, bright, orange pumpkin on it for effect.

Around here the main colour is red.

Help! I've written and I can't get up!