Tuesday, March 08, 2005

International Women's Day

I think it's right, admirable, and beyond dispute that women should have their own special day which recognizes their role and contribution to our great world-wide society. Women are the adhesive of our lives, the glue which binds our families and sets the unruliness of men upon the path of responsibility and duty.

Equality is undoubtedly the right of every woman, rich or poor, married or unmarried, pregnant or barren.

The issues of feminism, equality, etc. of course raise important political and social questions.

Take universal suffrage, for example. It is clear that women should have the right to vote for the candidate of their choice, secure in the knowledge that, once elected, he will represent their interests to the fullest. Naturally, rights must be tempered with wisdom. In this case, women must recognize that casting a vote in opposition to that of their husbands' must needs be met with the strictest disapprobation, perhaps a short stint tied up in the basement with only bread and water. Men, on the other hand, should be careful to dilute the force of their discipline with a sufficient measure of solicitous tenderness.

Then there is the question of whether women should be allowed to drive the roads. Anyone who says no is obviously a fool, and deeply bigoted to boot. Still, I wonder why some women insist on driving the most expensive vehicles available, such as top of the line Mercedes and BMWs. Such an ostentatious display only serves to indicate their husbands have well-paying jobs, and can only contribute to a rise in envy of those less fortunate souls whose husbands must labour in the coal mines. As for those who like to drive fast, sporty models....well! We know what kind of women those are! But, equality being what it is, all men are entitled to pursue such women for their favours.

But really, it is almost invariably true that women possess a much better grasp of what is appropriate than most men. That is why they have for some years prevailed upon the auto manufacturers to produce varieties of "girly" cars (to use the colloquial expression)...less brash, less obtrusive, less likely to interfere with those employing the thoroughfares for serious purposes. And to their credit, women have embraced these models enthusiastically, regaling the travelling public with demonstrations of their driving skills. The feminist movement has not yet succeeded in having dedicated "female driver lanes" but this may soon come to pass.

It is with astonishment that I note the continuing controversy over whether women should populate the work force or the planet. Forgive me, that is my facetious way of saying that some women stand upon their right to work, while others choose to remain in the home and apply themselves to the raising of their children.

What a vexatious topic is this! Of course women should be in the work force. Many jobs simply cannot be done by men. On a personal note, I can say that I could not make a decent cup of coffee even were I to be serving the Queen herself!

This does raise the question, however, of what is to be done with the children of working women. As I understand, the idea of nationally subsidized daycare has been floated as one solution. Personally, I prefer the option of having women take their children to work with them. This provides the two-fold benefit of alleviating separation anxiety, and the possibility of creating a "teachable" moment at any time of the day.

How could this be accomplished? I suggest the use of sling-type baby carriers, either of the back-pack variety or the front-loaded version. The latter, especially, would be particularly convenient for mothers who are still nursing their young, with the proviso, of course, that they do so discreetly...preferably in a quiet secluded area well away from the prying eyes of men who, it is well-known, are far too excitable and sensitive to this sort of stimulus.

Older children would be well-served by some sort of "kiddie-leash". Failing that, large-screen televisions equipped with X-Box or Playstation are reported to have kept children occupied well beyond their nominal bedtimes.

In conclusion, I salute the international women of the day. May they ever be on guard in the maintenance of their supremacy, in the diligence of their efforts to keep we men upright and on the straight and narrow. And may God help us if they ever decide to pack up and leave.


Anonymous said...

Larry wrote, "the idea of nationally subsidized daycare has been floated as one solution..."

For another opinion, this website takes a rather dim view of subsidized daycare.

Anonymous said...

The above link about subsidized daycare didn't work...

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Anonymous #2 is the same as Anonymous #1, and if so, why did you put up a bloody link dat don't woik? And if not, what's the matter with all you people afraid to leave your true identities?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous #4

What's the matter with all you people afraid to leave your true identities?

Being a Buddhist I am practicing non attachment to the concept of True Identities....

Anonymous said...

The concept of anatman could make conversation quite difficult. One should more properly say, "Neither being nor not-being a Buddhist, one who is neither I nor not-I neither clings to nor lets go of concepts of true/false identity or identitylessness.

Help! I've written and I can't get up!