Mental Blog

My 2 Favourite Pepper-Spray Photos

2011-11-23T14:45:00.001-05:00

Go here for lots more, some of them quite dramatic.

Autumn Haiku #1

2011-11-18T21:57:00.001-05:00

One brittle leaf

in the autumn wind

startles the Buddha

International Day For Tolerance

2011-11-18T00:51:00.001-05:00

November 16 was the International Day For Tolerance.

The Dalai Lama Centre in Vancouver is promoting tolerance through education as one of its central themes.

The Yoni School's one and only cowboy pote, Hardtop Tulane, was heard to say at lunch: "I ain't too sure about this here danged tolerance! I suppose we'll just have to put up with it."

Larry Loves Spam

2011-09-14T14:59:00.000-04:00

Since I've not been posting regularly on Mental Blog, the comment sections have become a target for spam spam spam spam spam (Thank you Monty Python)...

Blogger is very good, however, at catching this useless shit.

But today I saw this stupid spam comment in my inbox, which begins: Buy online in USA cerebral disease...

A few words later I'm told it's HIGH QUALITY!

Great. High quality USA cerebral disease available online.

Come to think of it, that's not so far off the truth...

The Satanic Verses

2010-06-11T22:54:00.005-04:00

I'm reading -- for the second time -- Salman Rushdie's The Satanic Verses. I'm about half-way through this second reading. I have two things to say about it at the moment. The first is a politico/religious comment and a bit of a shot at the Muslim faith. So, all you Muslims out there, be forewarned.

The second is not a politico/religious comment.

The first is this: even without knowing a whole lot about Islam, it's not hard to see why the mullahs might have been pissed off at Rushdie. The Satanic Verses is highly irreverent, possibly to the point of blasphemy, I don't know. Rushdie implies that the divine revelation of the Quran had its more temporal and political inspirations as well. And his portrayal of Muhammed (may peace be upon him) is not very flattering.

On the other hand, off the top of my head I can't think of any other contemporary religion that has the arrogance to issue a public threat or death sentence, as it appears the fatwah against Rushdie was. All over a bit of writing. Bad enough when governments think they have the right to imprison someone for their opinions. But for a religion? My question would be this: Who appointed you god?

(And yes, I'm well aware that the Roman Catholic religion is not exactly lily white when it comes to this sort of thing. But it's quite a while since the pope passed a death sentence...We are supposed to be evolving into beings of compassion and light, no?)

So, my response to the leaders of Islam: get over it, and get over yourselves. The faithful won't be swayed by writing like this. And infidels, like me, don't care. We just like a good read.

Which brings me to my second point. Rushdie is one of those writers who makes me cry out in anguish and envy, "Goddam! I wish I could write like that!"

Here's a brief passage. It would take too long to explain the context, but you don't really need context to appreciate this:

An iceberg is water striving to be land; a mountain, especially a Himalaya, especially Everest, is land's attempt to metamorphose into sky; it is grounded flight, the earth mutated -- nearly -- into air, and become, in the true sense, exalted.

Much of Rushdie's writing is virtuoso performance, a romp through Indian-accented English and you can't help but admire the pure delight he takes in telling tall tales.

Truly a Proustian Effort

2010-06-06T19:08:00.005-04:00

OK, so I have this book. Well, three books actually. The three "definitive" volumes of Marcel Proust's A la Recherche du Temps Perdu. En Anglais, The Remembrance of Things Past, or more correctly, In Search of Lost Time.

(An inadvertent typo just gave me an idea for a spy series along the lines of Ian Fleming or Graham Greene -- Remembrance of Things Psst!)

(Or a documentary about how the good old Gliberal government of good old Ontariario is once again screwing its loyal but phlegmatic citizens -- Remembrance of Things PST (ie. provincial sales tax).) (That could be a whole other post.)

To get back to the epic at hand -- Proust. This book. This tome. These tomes.

Volume One, which includes Swann's Way and In a Budding Grove, comprised just over one thousand pages. The remaining volumes are about the same length. For some reason, when I began reading this, I wrote a note on a piece of paper that I had started reading it in June, 1991. I finished it today. Exactly nineteen years. I may not live long enough to finish Volumes Two and Three.

Of course, I didn't spend nineteen years continuously, nor even continually. In fact, I began Vol. 1 more than once. The last time was January, 2004. I began it then and left it for some time and then started again where I had left off probably some time last year. Or maybe I actually started again from the beginning. But this time I was determined to finish it and I did.

Proust, like Joyce's Ulysses, is notoriously difficult to read. Like Faulkner, Proust tends to write extremely long sentences. Therefore, very few paragraph breaks. Lots of pages of solid print. Convoluted thought processes. Not much actual dialogue.

You may ask me what the book is about. I haven't the faintest idea any more. Except that it seems to be Proust's attempt to put on paper every convoluted thought process a man might engage in throughout the course of his life, in the finest detail possible, including all conditions, conclusions, concussions, confabulations, contradictions, concessions, and conniptions.

No detail escapes Proust's verbose perusal. Sort of. For a man who wants to tell every little thing that goes through his head while he's trying to figure out how to get a girl to kiss him, he neglects in the most irritating way to inform you how old the central character is at any given time, or the girl, or anybody else. They are either older...or younger. His grandmother, for example, is older.

Here's an example of what I mean. I remember the last part of the book best -- for reasons which should be obvious. The character (Proust himself, let's say) is plotting a romance with a young girl named Albertine. Or perhaps it's Andrée, a different young girl, but a friend of Albertine's. It all depends on how things work out. Or whether they work out. Now, one of the male friends/acquaintances of Albertine and Andrée smokes cigars. So that puts him at an approximate age. But the girls themselves seem to act like precocious schoolgirls, and Proust's description of the campaign to win Albertine's lips sounds remarkably juvenile or adolescent. I mean, it just drips with teenage angst.

The problem is that this character has already had one love affair, which was his first, with a girl named Gilberte. OK, first loves could come at twelve or thirteen, no? So is this guy like fifteen? Or eighteen?

And just to make it more complicated, in the early book, Proust spends much time with M. Swann in love. Now, M. Swann is no teenager, but a grown man well known in French society circles. Except that his convoluted thought processes are not much more mature than those of our lovesick protagonist.

Anway, the last part of Vol. 1 was a bit of an easier read because it seemed to move along more quickly in its obsessive way, but I think I'll be having a bit of a rest before I tackle Vol. 2.

Really, when you think about it, writing this novel killed Proust. Best not to have it kill its readers too.

The Teachings of Rasta Zen Mastah Soon Come #0001

2010-03-21T20:35:00.003-04:00

A student came to Rasta Zen Mastah Soon Come and said, "What is enlightenment?"

Mastah Soon Come replied, "I an' I be flyin' mon."

The student bowed and left the room.

Nonie Crete at the Registry Theatre

2009-07-22T13:52:00.002-04:00

Nonie, Eugene Rea on guitar, Ken Brown on bass, Michelle Josef on drums and HWSRN on keys.

I Wanna Have Rachel Maddow's Baby!

2009-05-23T19:36:00.000-04:00

I'm not a regular watcher of MSNBC or Rachel Maddow, but occasionally I get directed in some nefarious way to a segment of her broadcast, and every time I do, I fall in love again! And she seems to be getting better with age too! I love her gleeful scorn directed at pompous asses and arrogant SOBs. I love the way she punctures rhetoric and manipulative discourse. Sometimes she gives miniature lectures, like this one, demonstrating how it's done...all the lies, the hype, the misdirection, the manipulation...all the techniques used to prevent us ordinary peeples from discovering the real truth or even learning how to uncover the real truth....

Really, I wanna have her baby!

Alas, dear friends, that is a desire destined to be forever frustrated, since Rachel is a lesbian. I certainly don't hold that against her. Because the odds of getting an opportunity to hold it against her are astronomical. So I guess I'll just admire her from afar and dream of the unborn children we never could have had...

Werds By The Pound Pt. III

2009-04-27T23:07:00.003-04:00

Now here's a real horrorshow raskazz that I've owned for a good long raz. My appy polly loggies if you don't kopat my govoreeting, O my brothers and sisters. You will just have to kupet it and read it, or itty over to the biblio and borrow it. Have yourself a tass of the old moloko-plus while you are at it.

And that's about all I can manage of the Nadsat language, with which A Clockwork Orange is replete. From the very first page, you know you are in for it:

"What's it going to be then, eh?"

There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, Dim being really dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar making up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening, a flip dark chill winter bastard though dry. The Korova Milkbar was a milk-plus mesto, and you may, O my brothers, have forgotten what these mestos were like, things changing so skorry these days and everybody quick to forget, newspapers not being read much neither.

And what you're in for is a taste of the old ultra-violence of disaffected youth...in the case of Alex, a case of love of violence for its own sake. And the follow-up is the violence perpetrated by the state for the purpose of preventing the violence of the disaffected youth.

I'm oversimplifying, but in these days of lawn order politicians, minimum sentencing and so-called stiff penalties for every little thing, oversimplifying fits very well with the zeitgeist.

Alex and his droogs commit several heinous crimes, and then, because Alex was a little too trusting of his droogs and miscalculated their loyalty, he gets nabbed by the millicents and sentenced to prison. And eventually submits to an experimental treatment whereby he is rendered incapable of violence. The very thought makes him violently ill. As an unintended side-effect, the treatment also robs him of his only redeeming feature, the love of music.

And then he gets released. Within hours his negative karma catches up with him. He meets his old droogs and gets the crap kicked out of him. He takes refuge with a previous victim who then turns him over to some political types who use him for their own purposes. He gets thrown out of the house of his own pee & em. He attempts suicide.

The bleeding hearts get themselves in an uproar and force the government to restore him to his original condition, an ultra-violent lover of Beethoven.

The end.

In the end, Burgess offers an indictment of both sides. Beware the demagogues and simple-solution advocates. Things are not that simple. What was done to Alex was an outrage (even tho he more or less agreed to it.) Put as oversimply as possible, the state has no right to remove one's humanity (limited as that humanity might be.)

But the other end of it is just as unsatisfactory. In the end, Alex reverts to his original state:

Oh, it was gorgeosity and yumyumyum. When it came to the Scherzo [of Beethoven's glorious Ninth] I could viddy myself very clear running and running on like very light and mysterious nogas, carving the whole litso of the creeching world with my cut-throat britva. And there was the slow movement and the lovely last singing movement still to come. I was cured all right.

But jolly old England was not a safer place.

***

My copy of A Clockwork Orange doesn't quite predate the movie, but it does predate what later became the iconic images. I looked, but couldn't seem to find online an edition with a cover like the one above. So I scanned it and offer it to you. And in case you don't remember, here's what came out of the great success of the film:

Often when a book is made into a movie, the film doesn't quite live up to the book. That is not the case here. Stanley Kubrick crafted yet another masterpiece with A Clockwork Orange, and made Malcolm McDowell's career for him. Kubrick often managed to be ahead of the curve. In this case, among other things, the soundtrack by Wendy (then Walter) Carlos broke new ground with its use of electronic music. Electronic Beethoven what a concept!

Many years later I heard an interview with Wendy (previously Walter) Carlos, who described the incredibly painstaking process of creating this complex music with the (relatively) primitive, altho powerful, electronic instruments of the day, in particular the Moog.

Some of you may remember the early Moog synthesizers. They looked like telephone exchanges with a keyboard attached, and to change the sounds you had to plug things in here and put them over there and twiddle the dials, change the amplitude, the frequency, the wave form, and then unplug that so you could put it in this until the right sound came out, and then you had to get the notes right. Nowadays, sez HWSRN, you press one key and the arpeggiator does the work.

April is Po-tree Month

2009-04-22T20:39:00.001-04:00

Part I:
You may not have noticed, but April is national po-tree month. I'm not quite sure which nation we're talking about here. Maybe the nation of Murricanaduh. I dunno. I'm pretty sure it's Canaduh. And the US too. If not, so what? You don't need an excuse for po-tree.

So, in that spirit I present a pome from an old dead white guy who achieved a good measure of fame for his po-tree, name of William Butler Yeats. This comes from the Oxford Book of English Verse:

Where My Books Go

All the words that I utter,
And all the words that I write,
Must spread out their wings untiring,
And never rest in their flight,
Till they come where your sad, sad heart is,
And sing to you in the night,
Beyond where the waters are moving,
Storm-darken'd or starry bright.

***

Furthermore, in the spirit of national po-tree month, April, I too have a pome, inspired by this work of Yeats. It goes something like this:

All the words that I utter,
And all the words that I write,
Must span the ocean 'lectronic
Either ether or Uther & come to rest
In the Dark Age of the Dragon's Pen;
Or colonize minute interstices
'Mid rampant ignorant superstishies;
Or grind themselves in plates tectonic
Between Scylla whole reading & Charybdis phonic.
None may pass the spellcheck test
& retain the rubric "Larry's Best"
Lest philistines gobble clash & groan
And somehow make this pome their own.

***

I think I could not demonstrate with greater clarity why William Butler Yeats is in the Oxford Book of English Verse and Larry is in the Yoni School for Wayward Poets carrying on his Mental Blog.

Part II:
As proprietor of this here blog, Mental, I get the odd communication from people in the biz. This communication I am about to communicate to you was not so odd, however.

I received an email from Michael Douma who has developed a website called Poetry Through the Ages. I encourage you, if you are interested in po-tree, to visit this site. It has an interesting feature which Mr. Douma calls a nodemap...what I believe is a Java-powered version of "clustering", a technique with which many writers will be familiar. (There is now at least one computer version of this clustering technique called FreeMind, which I have used. It's a way cool -- and useful -- app. Poetry Through the Ages uses SpicyNodes, a web-based app.) What you can do with this map is explore different areas of the website by clicking on the balloons.

And there are many different areas to explore: the history of poetry; different forms both classical and modern; obscure forms; popular forms; notes about the biz of po-tree. There's even a shop where you can shop. And of course links to other resources.

Personally, I plan to revisit the villanelle.

Canaduh's Central Bank Cuts Back

2009-04-21T12:23:00.004-04:00

One of the "home" pages I use is Yahoo! Today, one of the lead articles was about the Bank of Canaduh cutting back its interest rate to .25%. Now that's low. Can't get much lower than that. In fact, pretty soon, if we can convince our chartered banks to actually pass on these cuts, they'll be paying me. Almost sorta like the old days. And if we ever get that far, I'm gonna make damn sure I charge them service fees! You wanna give me money? OK, it'll cost you though...

Anyway, to get back to what I intended to say. The Yahoo! article and headline had a thumbnail photo along with it. Here it is:

Now, that's what I call cutting back.

(I should say that the actual photo that went with the article had the complete name,
but I really prefer the poignant irony of the thumbnail.)

Werds By The Pound Pt. II

2009-04-20T19:45:00.002-04:00

Yes, and in spite of the fact that Blogger setup never lets me setup quite the way I'd like to see it setup, I am still able to tell you that among the werds I've pounded in recent months are these two novels, Being There by Jerzy Kosinski, and The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers.

I have a specific and real reason for juxtaposing these two, although they are utterly different stylistically.

The central character of Being There is Chauncey Gardiner, depicted in the well-known film by Peter Sellers, and the cover of the book reminds us of this too. (This was a case of impeccable casting. No one could have played Chauncey better than Sellers.) Chauncey is, how would you say it, simple-minded. The house where he lives and gardens has been his shelter for as long as he can remember. When his "guardian" dies he is thrown out into the complicated and sophisticated world with nearly nothing.

Chauncey is neither complicated nor sophisticated. His thought processes are quite limited. But after suffering a slight injury in traffic (mostly his own fault I think…) he is adopted by a wealthy couple with very high connections.

Chauncey has no life experience other than his garden. And television. Therefore, everything he says relates in one way or another to these things. In his simplicity he utters profound truths, but he is not actually answering the questions people ask him. Nevertheless, everyone accepts his comments and before long he has become famous. He advises the president, he attracts women, everyone comes to dote on his words.

In The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter there is also a central character, named John Singer. Singer is deaf and dumb. He has one dear friend named Spiros Antonapoulos, also deaf and dumb, and they live together in a small town in the southern US. Antonapoulos is also feeble-minded and Singer does his best to take care of him. But eventually he fails and through the machinations of Antonapoulos’ cousin, Antonapoulos is taken away to an asylum. Throughout the novel, Singer single-mindedly focuses on somehow helping Antonapoulos.

Meanwhile, he attracts the attention of four people in the town: an alcoholic labour radical, a black doctor with a mission to educate his people, the owner of a bar/restaurant, and a fourteen year old girl. One by one each of them begins to visit him. They all come to talk, which of course he can’t do. So he “listens”. And they tell him their dreams, their hopes, their fears and frustrations, their rage and their sorrow.

Now I come to what it is about these two novels that makes me put them together. In both of them, the central character is a sort of empty vessel who comes to be filled by the other characters. In both novels the supporting cast members project their own thoughts and beliefs onto the main character. Chauncey Gardiner becomes the wise man with the universal truth (when all he’s really talking about is his own garden which he misses very much) and, in the course of The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter a raft of rumours arise in the town about the nature of Singer’s past and his current life. In the end, no one knows the real Chauncey Gardiner, nor the real John Singer. Everything about them has been dreamed up by someone else. And imagine the shock of Singer’s four friends when Singer kills himself after finding out that Antonapoulos has died.

I can’t help but turn this into a bit of dharma. Is this not what we are all doing most of the time…making up stories about who we are, who our friends are, what our lives are? I don’t know about you, but I personally find that most of the stress in my life revolves around what I project outward…beliefs, desires, resentments, anxieties…in other words, the things I am making up about other people or situations.

Carson McCullers’ characters, in particular, were tormented by their inability to mould people in their own images or according to what they thought was right and necessary. We’re constantly trying to stuff the world with ourselves!

Better to just let it be.

Livestation: Internet TV

2009-04-15T22:41:00.003-04:00

Livestation is an internet TV and radio website that can set you up with a wide array of media sources. If you're interested in finding alternate sources of information other than the usual suspects, this is a good place to start. It has 19 "partner" TV channels, not all English, and 6 "partner" radio channels, also not all English. And then it has a huge number of user-added stations in any genre which you can add to your personal Livestation.

You have to register with Livestation. Then you can download the Livestation player which is very slick and loads fast. From there all you have to do is click on one of the stations and within seconds you're watching or listening.

I hooked up with this mainly because I wanted to be able to watch Al Jazeera, which is available in English and Arabic. I tend to watch the English station. I don't understand Arabic. But I really wanted to have the Al Jazeera perspective. Of course, there's also BBC. And C-Span. And CNN. I even added a couple of Hawgtown radio stations to my list.

I haven't used it a lot yet, but I'm impressed.

Werds By The Pound

2009-04-14T09:38:00.008-04:00

Since the beginning of the year I have been consuming books by the pound. Eg. I am currently (re-) reading Antonia Fraser's Cromwell: The Lord Protector. Now there's a book with some heft to it. More than seven hundred pages of the finest niggling detail you could possibly imagine. And that's my review of it more or less.

When I first read it, probably not long after it was first published, I devoured it then and thought it quite the work of biography. Now, on re-reading it, (and I'm about halfway through) I find it cluttered by the undergrowth of detail. Fraser somehow seems to miss the forest for all the trees and bushy bushes she's uncovered. So that, as far as I've come, I have no sense at all of how and why the Roundhead revolution occurred, what the political, social and religious situation was that gave rise to the Puritan phenomenon and how it was actually able to seize power in England.

It's a period (the middle of the 17th century) that perhaps many non-Brits don't know much about. And in a certain sense, they wouldn't learn much more from reading this book. Oh sure, they beheaded King Charles I. They (Cromwell) developed a new style of army, or new tactics, which affected military campaigns on into the future. They "subdued" Ireland. (Hah!) Quite viciously.

You might be surprised to learn that England was a "Protectorate" for some years...the "Protector" being Oliver Cromwell. A euphemism, really, for "Dictator" since at some point or other Cromwell, after having disposed of the king, subsequently "dismissed" Parliament at sword point.

But in this book, you don't get the impression of why this all occurred, what its roots were. I always thought that England was, after Henry VIII, essentially Anglican. Fraser does show that in the 17th century there was considerable dispute over the status of various Christian denominations. The Anglican church, represented by King Charles, was deposed as the state religion amid controversy and battles among Anglicans, Presbyterians, Roman Catholic bloody papists! and Puritans and a host of other Anabaptists and obscure sects. What Fraser doesn't give us is the historical context of it all. Instead she jumps straight into details of various battles won by Cromwell over Royalists (Cavaliers), Presbyterians, Irish and God knows who else...leprechauns.

So, now, the legend is that Murrica was colonized by the persecuted Puritans of the Mayflower, who fled England because they could not practise according to their religious conscience. Even Cromwell considered emigrating. But in Fraser we find that it was the Puritans who, for a time in England, trampled on freedom of conscience. Who knew, eh?

Unfortunately, by the end of this book, you may know it happened, but you still won't know why.

Roberta Peary Discovers the True North Pole

2009-04-06T23:30:00.000-04:00

Today, on the 100th anniversary of her great-great grandfather Robert Peary's "discovery" of the so-called North Pole, Roberta Peary announced, after exhaustive research on Wikipedia, that she had located the true North Pole. "And it ain't where everybody thinks..." she said via iPhone earlier today.

In a conscious echo of her great-great grandfather's message to the New York Times on April 6, 1909 (I have the pole, April sixth. Expect arrive Chateau Bay, September seventh. Secure control wire for me there and arrange expedite transmission big story. PEARY), Ms. Peary sent a tweet to all her followers on Twitter: "Have danced with the Pole, April sixth. Expect arrive Minsky's April seventh. Pole-dancing today. Table tomorrow."(113 characters -- with spaces)

If the North Pole is not where everybody thinks, despite the fact that the Navigation Foundation vindicated Robert Peary in 1989, just where is it? In a long conversation with Ms. Peary on MSN, she indicated the location of the North Pole on Google Maps. Here is the map:

As you can see, the North Pole is naturally in Poland. In the town of Wladyslawowo, one of the northernmost points in Poland, with a population of approximately ten thousand. Not only that, but the name of the North Pole is Wladyslaw Wowo, a retired longshoreman originally from Gdansk, where he practised counter-revolution with Lech Walesa. Mr. Wowo claims the town is named after him, but the town is not so sure.

In our drawn-out conversation, I asked Roberta Peary how she could be sure that Mr. Wowo was indeed the North Pole.

"He has the documentation to prove it. His profile is on Wikipedia. He has a page on Facebook, LinkedIn, MySpace, Beebo, and about 36 followers on Twitter. You can't ask for much more than that."

I asked Roberta Peary about her background in arctic exploration. "After dropping out of high school," she said, "I spent several years dispensing Coke from a Coke machine. That was a tough job. Very cramped conditions. Cold on one side...the cooler part. Hot on the other...the compressor part. I knew I had to escape from the machine. Nobody likes to be a slave to the machine. And the tips were lousy. Sometimes I just swallowed the coins and didn't give people their Cokes. Then they'd start banging on the machine or rocking it back and forth. Scary, I tell you."

"As I say, I did that for several years, but I really got my big break when I discovered on-line search engines and on-line research. I started with my great-great grandfather's Trip-tych, which the American Automobile Association made out for him to get to the North Pole. It seemed to me that he had taken a wrong turn at Peoria. I dug further into the resources of Wikipedia and everything I found seemed to confirm this. From there, I just followed the links and they led me to Wladyslawowo and Wladyslaw Wowo."

I asked her, "For a hundred years, more or less, the world has generally accepted that it was your great-great grandfather Robert Peary, who reached the North Pole. Do you feel that you have undermined what, at the time, was considered to be one of mankind's greatest accomplishments?"

"No, certainly not," she replied. "I feel as if I'm setting the record straight. It's always the women who have to keep men in line, keep them on the straight and arrow, make sure they straighten up and fly right, and my great-great grandfather, as great-great as he was and is, didn't fly right, didn't sail right, didn't drive right. No, he took a wrong turn and ended up trudging through the snow in some God-forsaken arctic tundra when he could have just taken the train to Wladyslawowo. Not to mention the fact that he denied Wladyslaw Wowo his rightful due as the true North Pole, strong and free."

I thanked Ms. Peary for her time and asked if she could put me in touch with Mr. Wowo. She gave me his phone number. So I cranked up my Skype and when the operator came on I called out, "Mayfair, give me Pennsylvania 6-5000," and through the miracle of modern technology was connected to Mr. Wowo within thirty-two hours.

"Mr. Wowo, how does it feel to be finally discovered?" I asked.

"A little chilly," he said. "You want wodka? We share bottle wodka. Keep warm. Tell story of Nort Pole."

"Yes, all right. But let me ask you, why do you think Robert Peary went astray?"

"Stupid man! He not take enough wodka. Get cold. Cannot think straight."

"As you know, according to the New York Times, Peary's first communication after reaching the pole..."

"He not reach Pole! I never meet him!"

"Yes, sorry," I said, "His first communication was to the New York Times, and his second was to the Associated Press, in which he said, Stars and Stripes nailed to the pole. PEARY."

"Yes, I hear this story. There is famous photograph of flag. Here, I show you."

Mr. Wowo sent me the photo by email. Here it is:

The photo clearly indicates a flaw in Robert Peary's claim. Yes, the flag is there, but it's planted right next to an inukshuk, known throughout the universe as an Inuit artifact. Therefore, either Peary had not discovered the North Pole, free and clear, or he was not the first human to arrive.

I asked Mr. Wowo about this. He said, "Yes, there is story about this. Reporters ask Peary about this, this, this, inuktitut whatever, and he bluster, he splutter, he make rolling in the eyes, and then say, 'Well, naturally I just naturally assumed that it was a natural phenomenon and put it down to the natural curiosity of polar bears...' This is very hard for me to say like Murrican...You want more wodka?"

"Yesh, thankew," I said.

He poured me a straight shot, but since I was in Canaduh sitting at my computer and he was in Poland sitting at his computer, he had to drink it himself. Which he did with obvious relish.

"Do you think I could have a photo of you to post on Mental Blog?" I asked.

"No! No photograph! People must not see who is Wladyslaw Wowo the North Pole! There are too many -- how-you-say -- Minnie the Moochers. Is like winning Polish State Lottery! Everyone will say, 'Ah! So now Wladyslaw Wowo is rich man, and famous! He will give us money!' Then everyone tries to get a piece of Pole. No. No photos. But here...I will give you photo of my True North Pole installation which is in front yard of my house. It is like this Robert Peary's, only is the true flag planted next to true Polish inuktithingy."

Here is the photo Mr. Wowo sent me over the Internettle:*

"Thank you for the photo, Mr. Wowo. Are those wodka, I mean vodka, bottles that you used to make the inukshuk?"

"Yes, very good Polish wodka. I get them from my cousin. I must tell you, my cousin, he is South Pole. He is true South Pole! Here! I send you map of location of True South Pole!"

Here is the Google App Map Mr. Wowo sent me:

"Next month this Ms. Roberta Peary she will come to see me and we will visit my cousin in Krakow. Yes, in Krakow is definitely South Pole. His name is Jerzy Milkski. He is wodka salesman. He is on the road very much."

"You mean he's a travelling salesman?"

"No. I mean he is on road falling down often. Too much wodka."

"Ah," I said for lack of anything better, "But Krakow is not in the deep south..."

"Yes, he lives in winter more south but in summer he moves to Krakow. He lives at 4 Biwa Lane, Krakow, Poland. He is for sure South Pole waiting to be discovered. You should come visit. Especially April is wonderful in Krakow. There is famous song...April in Krakow. But Jerzy Milkski will make Krakow more famous for South Pole. You will see. We could hit road together, drink wodka. Lots wodka from Jerzy. You could write on Mental Blog...a series! Call it On Road. What you think?"

"Thanks, Mr. Wowo. I'll have my people call your people."

So.

That was my foray into arctic and antarctic exploration, via Internet. What an adventure, eh? And the people you meet! Roberta Peary is now my friend on Facebook. Jerzy Milkski wants to connect with me on Plaxo. And the truth of the true North Pole has finally been revealed.

*Some hypercritical critics might suggest that these photos are not authentic. They will say that the inukshuk in the Peary photo is nothing but a clip-art picture with a Murrican flag (and not even the proper one for the period!) photoshopped in. And the vodka bottle inukshuk is clearly a photographic mashup, they will murmur. But not so! These photos were subsequently authenticated by the Royal Wikipedia Society, and if that ain't good enough, I don't know what all is!

Signs of Spring?

2009-03-24T18:58:00.004-04:00

Spring is sprung,
the grass is rizz,
Here is Max,
the Bichon Frizz.

Suzy Homemaker has been working for some months on a computer course built around Corel Paint-Shop Pro. She prepared this photo at my request. (I should mention that the stuff she has learned to do goes way beyond the silliness above...)

HWSRN Reports on Chuck Mangione

2009-03-21T22:44:00.005-04:00

Last night HWSRN went to see Chuck Mangione and his band play at the old Square Centre of the Round Hole in good ol' Lunchbucket Ontariario. Now, it's been many years since Chuck Mangione was a major major, but that doesn't mean he can't still blow a mean flugelhorn.

And HWSRN reports that he surely did. He played a medley of his hit. And brought the house to its foot.

Some of you may know that Chuck lost nearly half his band in that plane crash a while back near Buffalo. I don't know, and neither does HWSRN, which players they were, but he says that the bass player and sax player were the only two on stage with music stands, so that's a pretty good indication. Nevertheless, the band was mighty hot. They played songs from Chuck's album, Fun and Games. They played Bellavia, named after his maiden mother's maiden name...a lovely Italian sort of ballad. They played Land of Make Believe, which is one of my favourite all-time tunes. They played be-bop...an interesting thing called Dizzy and Miles...which featured a poem at the beginning and the refrain "All the world smiles at Dizzy and Miles"...and then each took be-bop solos accompanied only by the drums doing light swing with brushes. They featured the bass player on Fun & Games. Chuck let the young sax player blow and blow on several tunes. Then they played Children of Sanchez, with the drummer singing...and playing an entirely different rhythm from what he sang...something quite difficult to do...(don't forget, the drummer's already moving all four limbs in polyrhythmic patterns, and then to add the voice!)

This was the last song of the set. Chuck said goodnight. And left the stage for about thirty seconds. Then he came back.

Of course, he'd forgotten to play the song everybody came to hear. Feels So Good.

Well, no, he didn't really forget. It was the encore of course. But for HWSRN, it seemed a bit lacklustre after the tour de force of Children of Sanchez. It was like, "Hey, let's get the tune over with and go back to the hotel room..."

Exactly ninety minutes. Contractual obligation fulfilled. Feels fairly good, maybe, kinda, sorta.

Possible Epitaph #6

2009-03-18T14:24:00.003-04:00

Another Update on New Look Mental Blog

2009-03-14T13:11:00.002-04:00

As you can see, I've changed the header photo, and the description of Mental Blog. An anonymous view...

I couldn't get it to stretch all the way over to the sidebar. I expect there's something in the code that creates a boundary or buffer. Don't know what that might be. Maybe some day when I'm not overcome with angst at the impending doom of the universe, I'll dig into the html and see if I can find the boundary of the Mental Blog galaxy.

The image on the right is the moon, of course. I don't know enough astronomy to tell you if it's waxing or waning. Anyway, it's the moon. A Lunar View of Larry's Head. Larry's Head is this Lunar Landscape. A sliver of light against a dark background. Or perhaps a dark mass with only the barest illumination peeking thru.

On the other hand, when you look at it quickly, it appears to be an Oreo cookie.

Update on New Look Mental Blog

2009-03-13T19:15:00.003-04:00

Suzy Homemaker said, "No no I don't like it that way why do you have to do it that way I liked it the other way better because you know we read from left to right so when we read we want to start at the left and go to the right but this way we have to start in the middle and go to the right and then back to the left and the left gets in the way because we need to start in the middle I liked it better the other way."

After a few moments reflection I agreed with her. I didn't like the sidebar on the left. I liked it better the other way, on the right. However, I did prefer the sans-serif font, if only for a change, and decided to make a contrast between the "page" and the sidebar. I think I'll leave it this way for now.

If you didn't see it the way it changed last night, too bad. It's gone. Well, not gone, I saved it, but I doubt I'll be bringing it back.

March 10 Statement of H.H. the Dalai Lama

2009-03-13T17:32:00.002-04:00

Ordinarily I wouldn't do this, but I think this is an important statement from the Dalai Lama, so I copied the whole thing from Beliefnet.

Today is the 50th anniversary of the Tibetan people's peaceful uprising against Communist China's repression in Tibet. Since last March widespread peaceful protests have erupted across the whole of Tibet. Most of the participants were youths born and brought up after 1959, who have not seen or experienced a free Tibet. However, the fact that they were driven by a firm conviction to serve the cause of Tibet that has continued from generation to generation is indeed a matter of pride. It will serve as a source of inspiration for those in the international community who take keen interest in the issue of Tibet. We pay tribute and offer our prayers for all those who died, were tortured and suffered tremendous hardships, including during the crisis last year, for the cause of Tibet since our struggle began.

Around 1949, Communist forces began to enter north-eastern and eastern Tibet (Kham and Amdo) and by 1950, more than 5000 Tibetan soldiers had been killed. Taking the prevailing situation into account, the Chinese government chose a policy of peaceful liberation, which in 1951 led to the signing of the 17-point Agreement and its annexure. Since then, Tibet has come under the control of the People's Republic of China. However, the Agreement clearly mentions that Tibet's distinct religion, culture and traditional values would be protected.

Between 1954 and 1955, I met with most of the senior Chinese leaders in the Communist Party, government and military, led by Chairman Mao Zedong, in Beijing. When we discussed ways of achieving the social and economic development of Tibet, as well as maintaining Tibet's religious and cultural heritage, Mao Zedong and all the other leaders agreed to establish a preparatory committee to pave the way for the implementation of the autonomous region, as stipulated in the Agreement, rather than establishing a military administrative commission. From about 1956 onwards, however, the situation took a turn for the worse with the imposition of ultra-leftist policies in Tibet. Consequently, the assurances given by higher authorities were not implemented on the ground. The forceful implementation of the so-called "democratic" reforms in the Kham and Amdo regions of Tibet, which did not accord with prevailing conditions, resulted in immense chaos and destruction. In Central Tibet, Chinese officials forcibly and deliberately violated the terms of the 17-point Agreement, and their heavy-handed tactics increased day by day. These desperate developments left the Tibetan people with no alternative but to launch a peaceful uprising on 10 March 1959. The Chinese authorities responded with unprecedented force that led to the killing, arrests and imprisonment of tens of thousands of Tibetans in the following months. Consequently, accompanied by a small party of Tibetan government officials including some Kalons (Cabinet Ministers), I escaped into exile in India. Thereafter, nearly a hundred thousand Tibetans fled into exile in India, Nepal and Bhutan. During the escape and the months that followed they faced unimaginable hardship, which is still fresh in Tibetan memory.

Having occupied Tibet, the Chinese Communist government carried out a series of repressive and violent campaigns that have included "democratic" reform, class struggle, communes, the Cultural Revolution, the imposition of martial law, and more recently the patriotic re-education and the strike hard campaigns. These thrust Tibetans into such depths of suffering and hardship that they literally experienced hell on earth. The immediate result of these campaigns was the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Tibetans. The lineage of the Buddha Dharma was severed. Thousands of religious and cultural centres such as monasteries, nunneries and temples were razed to the ground. Historical buildings and monuments were demolished. Natural resources have been indiscriminately exploited. Today, Tibet's fragile environment has been polluted, massive deforestation has been carried out and wildlife, such as wild yaks and Tibetan antelopes, are being driven to extinction.

These 50 years have brought untold suffering and destruction to the land and people of Tibet. Even today, Tibetans in Tibet live in constant fear and the Chinese authorities remain constantly suspicious of them. Today, the religion, culture, language and identity, which successive generations of Tibetans have considered more precious than their lives, are nearing extinction; in short, the Tibetan people are regarded like criminals deserving to be put to death. The Tibetan people's tragedy was set out in the late Panchen Rinpoche's 70,000-character petition to the Chinese government in 1962. He raised it again in his speech in Shigatse in 1989 shortly before he died, when he said that what we have lost under Chinese communist rule far outweighs what we have gained. Many concerned and unbiased Tibetans have also spoken out about the hardships faced by the Tibetan people. Even Hu Yaobang, the Communist Party Secretary, when he arrived in Lhasa in 1980, clearly acknowledged these mistakes and asked the Tibetans for their forgiveness. Many infrastructural developments such as roads, airports, railways, and so forth, which seem to have brought progress to Tibetan areas, were really done with the political objective of sinicising Tibet at the huge cost of devastating the Tibetan environment and way of life.

As for the Tibetan refugees, although we initially faced many problems such as great differences of climate and language and difficulties earning our livelihood, we have been successful in re-establishing ourselves in exile. Due to the great generosity of our host countries, especially India, Tibetans have been able to live in freedom without fear. We have been able to earn a livelihood and uphold our religion and culture. We have been able to provide our children with both traditional and modern education, as well as engaging in efforts to resolve the Tibet issue. There have been other positive results too. Greater understanding of Tibetan Buddhism with its emphasis on compassion has made a positive contribution in many parts of the world.

Immediately after our arrival in exile we began to work on the promotion of democracy in the Tibetan community with the establishment of the Tibetan Parliament-in-Exile in 1960. Since then, we have taken gradual steps on the path to democracy and today our exile administration has evolved into a fully functioning democracy with a written charter of its own and a legislative body. This is indeed something we can all be proud of.

Since 2001, we have instituted a system by which the political leadership of Tibetan exiles is directly elected through procedures similar to those in other democratic systems. Currently, the directly-elected Kalon Tripa's (Cabinet Chairperson) second term is underway.Consequently, my daily administrative responsibilities have reduced and today I am in a state of semi-retirement. However, to work for the just cause of Tibet is the responsibility of every Tibetan, and I will uphold this responsibility.

As a human being my main commitment is in the promotion of human values; this is what I consider the key factor for a happy life at the individual level, family level and community level. As a religious practitioner, my second commitment is the promotion of inter-religious harmony. My third commitment is of course the issue of Tibet due to my being a Tibetan with the name of the 'Dalai Lama', but more importantly it is due to the trust that Tibetans both inside and outside Tibet have placed in me. These are the three important commitments, which I always keep in mind.

In addition to looking after the well being of the exiled Tibetan community, which they have done quite well, the principal task of the Central Tibetan Administration has been to work towards the resolution of the issue of Tibet. Having laid out the mutually beneficial Middle-Way policy in 1974, we were ready to respond to Deng Xiaoping when he proposed talks in 1979. Many talks were conducted and fact-finding delegations dispatched. These, however, did not bear any concrete results and formal contacts eventually broke off in 1993.

Subsequently, in 1996-97, we conducted an opinion poll of the Tibetans in exile, and collected suggestions from Tibet wherever possible, on a proposed referendum, by which the Tibetan people were to determine the future course of our freedom struggle to their full satisfaction. Based on the outcome of the poll and the suggestions from Tibet, we decided to continue the policy of the Middle-Way.

Since the re-establishment of contacts in 2002, we have followed a policy of one official channel and one agenda and have held eight rounds of talks with the Chinese authorities. As a consequence, we presented a Memorandum on Genuine Autonomy for the Tibetan People, explaining how the conditions for national regional autonomy as set forth in the Chinese constitution would be met by the full implementation of its laws on autonomy. The Chinese insistence that we accept Tibet as having been a part of China since ancient times is not only inaccurate but also unreasonable. We cannot change the past no matter whether it was good or bad. Distorting history for political purposes is incorrect.

We need to look to the future and work for our mutual benefit. We Tibetans are looking for a legitimate and meaningful autonomy, an arrangement that would enable Tibetans to live within the framework of the People's Republic of China. Fulfilling the aspirations of the Tibetan people will enable China to achieve stability and unity. From our side, we are not making any demands based on history. Looking back at history, there is no country in the world today, including China, whose territorial status has remained forever unchanged, nor can it remain unchanged.

Our aspiration that all Tibetans be brought under a single autonomous administration is in keeping with the very objective of the principle of national regional autonomy. It also fulfils the fundamental requirements of the Tibetan and Chinese peoples. The Chinese constitution and other related laws and regulations do not pose any obstacle to this and many leaders of the Chinese Central Government have accepted this genuine aspiration. When signing the 17-point Agreement, Premier Zhou Enlai acknowledged it as a reasonable demand. In 1956, when establishing the Preparatory Committee for the "Tibet Autonomous Region", Vice-Premier Chen Yi pointing at a map said, if Lhasa could be made the capital of the Tibet Autonomous Region, which included the Tibetan areas within the other provinces, it would contribute to the development of Tibet and friendship between the Tibetan and Chinese nationalities, a view shared by the late Panchen Rinpoche and many educated Tibetans, cadres among them. If Chinese leaders had any objections to our proposals, they could have provided reasons for them and suggested alternatives for our consideration, but they did not. I am disappointed that the Chinese authorities have not responded appropriately to our sincere efforts to implement the principle of meaningful national regional autonomy for all Tibetans, as set forth in the constitution of the People's Republic of China.

Quite apart from the current process of Sino-Tibetan dialogue having achieved no concrete results, there has been a brutal crackdown on the Tibetan protests that have shaken the whole of Tibet since March last year. Therefore, in order to solicit public opinion as to what future course of action we should take, the Special Meeting of Tibetan exiles was convened in November 2008. Efforts were made to collect suggestions, as far as possible, from the Tibetans in Tibet as well. The outcome of this whole process was that a majority of Tibetans strongly supported the continuation of the Middle-Way policy. Therefore, we are now pursuing this policy with greater confidence and will continue our efforts towards achieving a meaningful national regional autonomy for all Tibetans.

From time immemorial, the Tibetan and Chinese peoples have been neighbours. In future too, we will have to live together. Therefore, it is most important for us to co-exist in friendship with each other.

Since the occupation of Tibet, Communist China has been publishing distorted propaganda about Tibet and its people. Consequently, there are, among the Chinese populace, not many who have a true understanding about Tibet. It is, in fact, very difficult for them to find the truth. There are also ultra-leftist Chinese leaders who have, since last March, been undertaking a huge propaganda effort with the intention of setting the Tibetan and Chinese peoples apart and creating animosity between them. Sadly, as a result, a negative impression of Tibetans has arisen in the minds of some of our Chinese brothers and sisters. Therefore, as I have repeatedly appealed before, I would like once again to urge our Chinese brothers and sisters not to be swayed by such propaganda, but, instead, to try to discover the facts about Tibet impartially, so as to prevent divisions among us. Tibetans should also continue to work for friendship with the Chinese people.

Looking back on 50 years in exile, we have witnessed many ups and downs. However, the fact that the Tibet issue is alive and the international community is taking growing interest in it is indeed an achievement. Seen from this perspective, I have no doubt that the justice of Tibet's cause will prevail, if we continue to tread the path of truth and non-violence.

As we commemorate 50 years in exile, it is most important that we express our deep gratitude to the governments and peoples of the various host countries in which we live. Not only do we abide by the laws of these host countries, but we also conduct ourselves in a way that we become an asset to these countries. Similarly, in our efforts to realise the cause of Tibet and uphold its religion and culture, we should craft our future vision and strategy by learning from our past experience.

I always say that we should hope for the best, and prepare for the worst. Whether we look at it from the global perspective or in the context of events in China, there are reasons for us to hope for a quick resolution of the issue of Tibet. However, we must also prepare ourselves well in case the Tibetan struggle goes on for a long time. For this, we must focus primarily on the education of our children and the nurturing of professionals in various fields. We should also raise awareness about the environment and health, and improve understanding and practice of non-violent methods among the general Tibetan population.

I would like to take this opportunity to express my heartfelt gratitude to the leaders and people of India, as well as its Central and State Governments, who despite whatever problems and obstacles they face, have provided invaluable support and assistance over the past 50 years to Tibetans in exile. Their kindness and generosity are immeasurable. I would also like to express my gratitude to the leaders, governments and peoples of the international community, as well as the various Tibet Support Groups, for their unstinting support.

May all sentient beings live in peace and happiness!

New Look Mental Blog

2009-03-13T01:56:00.006-04:00

I swear I didn't do it on purpose!

I did mention in a comment that perhaps it was time for a change. But what happened is this...

I went to the template section of the blog and clicked on "Save Template" because I thought that would save the template I had. I would save what I had and fool around with new possibilities. But no!!! Save Template means "use" the template whose box has been checked. The spot I was looking for to save my (formerly) current template was somewhere else. I only found it later.

But anyway. So now Mental Blog has a new look. I like it fine, after a little bit of tweaking, and rebuilding the label cloud. But maybe some more tweaking. This particular template doesn't seem to offer all the colour options of the previous one, but perhaps for obvious reasons. I expect it's possible to change colours in the HTML, but I still don't know enough about code to do that.

So. Enjoy the new template. Or not. If not, let me know.

Discovering New Music

2009-03-12T23:20:00.006-04:00

For several months I've been a member of a music site called Amie Street. It's sort of like iTunes, but different.

When you become a member of Amie Street you are encouraged to check out the new music as it comes into the site. Why? Because if you get in early you can download it for free. Most of the music that comes into Amie Street starts off free. As more people discover it and download it, the price goes up until it's $.99 per track. So, if you get it early you get it free, or very cheap. And even if you get it free, you have the satisfaction of knowing that your download has brought that artist a step closer to making some money. In addition, you can recommend a song once you own it, and this has two benefits: it can help others to decide whether to download, and if the popularity of the track increases you get a sort of cashback reward.

It's also a way to discover new, unknown artists without breaking your wallet. It goes without saying that there are legions of unknown but amazing musicians out there. In the last few weeks alone I have downloaded perhaps a dozen artists I'd never heard of before who blew me away with their music. Here are just two, both guitarists (available on Amie Street): Battista, who plays a style similar to the Gypsy Kings; and Alberto Fuggini, who plays sublime folk/classical. Go to their Amie Street sites and check them out. You can play clips to get an idea of what they're like.

But it's not all just new or unknown artists. I've downloaded music from the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, Little Feat, George Benson, Stan Kenton, and The Coasters. In fact, I've downloaded so much free or inexpensive music, I haven't had time to listen to it all yet.

Now, here's the other side of this story. If you are a musician, you can upload your mp3s and make them available for sale/download. Each track you upload can reach the potential price of $.99. After an admin fee by Amie Street of $5, you start earning money. Amie Street takes a 30% cut. I'm not sure whether this is a big cut or not. I don't know what percentage iTunes gets. However, the beauty of it is, you really don't have to do much work for it. Except to tell all your friends to register with Amie Street, download your tunes (early, for free...) and get some buzz happening.

I warn you, though. The search for new and interesting music can be a little addictive. I find myself, lately, checking out the site every day to see what's new.

Talking Back to China

2009-03-11T22:35:00.000-04:00

Starting with an off-topic comment: I made a solemn vow that I would make one post per day for the month of March, but I missed yesterday for various trivial reasons, so today I must post two articles. So this is the second one, altho now it's on the top of the page and looks like the first one...

Yesterday, of course, was the 50th anniversary of China's final conquest of Tibet. (Yes, I know, it's a rather inflammatory way of putting it, but I'm tired and can't be bothered to be diplomatic.) By "final" I mean the moment when China took over the land completely, with no pretense of granting autonomy or independence or human, social and religious rights. The real "final" conquest is still progressing, and the path that China intends to follow with respect to Tibet seems quite clear, to me at least.

In an editorial yesterday, the New York Times expressed the view (which I have heard and read elsewhere as well) that China is squandering its best opportunity to reach a reasonable agreement with Tibet and Tibetans by attacking His Holiness the Dalai Lama with intemperate and actually quite violent rhetoric. They say the Chinese government would like to see some stability in Tibet and passing up this opportunity will actually guarantee instability.

The Dalai Lama strongly castigated the Chinese government yesterday in his speech about the plight of Tibet today and the remembrance of the uprising 50 years ago. He accused the Chinese of creating a "hell on earth" for the Tibetans. There may be some good reasons why he decided to use such strong language, not the least of which is the growing restiveness of the Tibetan community. Fifty years is a long time to preach "autonomy" and forebearance in the face of naked repression.

But in spite of that, the Dalai Lama has not changed his basic approach. He is the Bodhisattva of Compassion. He's not likely to do an about-face.

However, the Chinese are materialists. They are not concerning themselves with the religious fervor and strong devotion of Tibetans for His Holiness. They're looking at the facts of the world as they present themselves, and as they can be manipulated.

The Dalai Lama represents the continuity of Tibetan autonomy and self-rule. When he dies, the next in line would have been the Panchen Lama. The Chinese kidnapped the boy His Holiness designated as the reincarnation of the previous Panchen Lama more than ten years ago. He has not been seen since. In other words, they have broken the line of succession (never mind elections and Tibetan parliaments or councils in exile or Tibet itself...these have authority, yes, but not exactly the same cachet as the Dalai Lama and the Panchen Lama...the people look to his Holiness for inspiration and guidance...)

When the Dalai Lama dies, the Tibetans will be truly bereft. If you think there is pressure from the government of China now against the "splittists" of Tibet, wait until His Holiness is gone. Even with a firmly-established reincarnation, there will be a hiatus of at least fifteen years, probably more like twenty. Which is more than enough time for the Chinese to bludgeon the Buddhists of Tibet.

The Chinese know this. It's what they're waiting for. All the more reason why the rest of the world needs to push back and talk back with some courage.

Meanwhile, let's not forget that the Dalai Lama did receive the Nobel Peace Prize. Here are a couple of quotes gleaned from Beliefnet:

Brute force, no matter how strongly applied, can never subdue the basic human desire for freedom and dignity. It is not enough, as communist systems have assumed, merely to provide people with food, shelter and clothing. Human nature needs to breathe the precious air of liberty.

We should not seek revenge on those who have committed crimes against us, or reply to their crimes with other crimes. We should reflect that by the law of karma, they are in danger of lowly and miserable lives to come, and that our duty to them, as to every being, is to help them to rise towards Nirvana, rather than let them sink to lower levels of rebirth.

The Dalai Lama From "The Pocket Dalai Lama," edited by Mary Craig, 2002. Reprinted by arrangement with Shambhala Publications, Boston.

Blogs That Link Here

2009-03-11T21:24:00.007-04:00

According to Technorati, there aren't many.

Like, one maybe? In the last year or so.

I don't log in to Technorati very often these days, but the other day I clicked on the link down at the bottom of Mental Blog...the one that says "Blogs That Link Here"...just to see what came up.

And I got an odd surprise. A blog called Occultural Anthropology had linked to one of my posts. It was one called "Arthur Koestler's a Dharma Bum!" posted in 2007.

Actually, it was more than a link. The author of the blog had copied the entire post and pasted it into his blog, with the original link, of course, which was how it came to be noted by Technorati.

What an odd feeling that was. But even stranger was reading through the post on this blog. Because it was written some time ago, it was no longer entirely familiar to me, as if it had been written by someone else. At least, that was the way I was reading it. I was struck by certain phrases and a couple of passages really impressed me! And for a second I thought I could not possibly have written this. Except for a few telltale Mental Blogisms, it seemed quite well thought out and well written. Finally I had to concede that it must have been written by Larry Keiler, inmate of the Yoni School for Wayward Poets. What finally convinced me was clicking on the link in the Occultural Anthropology posting. It took me straight to Mental Blog and the "Arthur Koestler's a Dharma Bum!" post.

Check them both out. It's interesting to see the post in two different contexts. The Occultural Anthropology post can be found here. While you're at it you might find something else interesting on that blog. And the original post can be found here.

Asymmetric Aphorism #5

2009-03-09T23:55:00.000-04:00

There are two sides to every story,
but with good will and good faith negotiation
we can come up with a win-win-win solution.

A Momentary Lapse of Lucidity

2009-03-08T22:10:00.000-04:00

let me go crash! brash!
let me stash, gnash teeth
by the seasaw in nash rambler
fifty years gone long lawn long lost
lying
on its broken back bacon scrambler egg cup

let me
thrash flash bulbous ectotherms
obscurity terms papers blown in the windpipe
swipe the rambler gamble the gypsy moth
frothyface moon dabbler scrabble pumpkin
peter eater
that's a triple word score!

let me plash in the kiddie pool
fool i be, fool i wool over your woolfish eyes
and doughy thighs squeezed nightly in the spandex
change the stockings change
the standard poor excuse for
vile robbery tile mockery style foppery

let me
plum the deepends, the jam of forefathers
two mothers three sisters ten brothers
brooks and done like dinners diners clubs and diamonds
give me lets give me baseballs and baseboards
for last trains to gnashville
i'll meet you at the station where
that cross we'll bear
skin to skin
in the evening of our ascension

Addendum to: Future Collectors' Items

2009-03-07T16:35:00.003-05:00

My friend Wild Thing sent me this visual joke, and I pass it on to you:

IKEA HAS ANNOUNCED ITS INTENTION TO TAKE OVER GM,

AND TO SELL CARS.

WE ARE IN DEEP SHIT....

Update on Roland V-Accordion

2009-03-06T23:12:00.004-05:00

In a fit of existential pique, HWSRN returned the Roland V-Accordion to the Lunchbucket Music Emporium. You remember the V-Accordion. I wrote about it some months ago.

HWSRN says he had kept it far too long. After all, he only had it for a trial. But after working with it and playing it quite a bit he had come to appreciate its qualities better and begun to see how he could use it. There were still things he didn't like about it, but over time he began to see how he could work around these or adjust to them.

Anyway, they were unable to come up with a price that suited him. The head of the keyboard department at the music store kept repeating, every time HWSRN went to talk to him, about how they had never charged him rent or anything like that...which annoyed HWSRN so much that he finally resolved to return the accordion, write them a nice cheque for rental and let them put the accordion back up on the wall where it had languished for the previous year. So they got their rental, but no sale. One wonders which was more valuable?

HWSRN thinks they didn't really want to sell it that badly. He also thinks they failed to exercise a little bit of imagination around how they could use this for promotional purposes. But that's how it goes, eh? I say it was a breakdown in the customer/salesman relationship. It is, perhaps, a missed opportunity all around, but not, thank god, a life and death situation.

Says HWSRN, "It's only a bloody accordion...and a virtual one at that!"

Future Collectors' Items

2009-03-05T19:42:00.002-05:00

Remember these?

1922 REO Speedwagon

1958 Ford Edsel Convertible

1963 Studebaker Avanti

1968 AMC Javelin SST

Regardless of what kind of reputation these cars had when they were around, today they are avidly sought, lovingly restored collectors' items.

Now here are a few more brands that may soon be collectors' items.
(Hint: Don't sell your Chevette...)

Twitter

2009-03-04T22:27:00.006-05:00

OK, so there's been a lot of buzz the last little while about Twitter. The web is all a-twitter over Twitter. And now the mainstream media are getting into the Twitter phenomenon.

What is Twitter? It's another social networking site. It centres around the question, "What are you doing?" You're only allowed 140 characters to tell everybody what it is you're doing. For some people that's apparently enough. In case you're wondering, the first paragraph of this post is 180 characters. Clearly it forces you to be concise, or to use short forms. In other words, it contributes to the development of IM language.

Hmm, lemme see if I can rephrase:
OK, lotsa buzz bout Twitter. MSM getting into the act. (55 characters)

Celebrities have begun to use it. Coldplay, for example. Several of the talk show hosts I listen to are using it to let people know what's coming up on their shows.

The idea is that you connect with your friends, or your "friends" and these friendly friends can "follow" you...ie. when you post a Tweet (that's Twitterspeak for Message) it gets displayed on their Twitter page so they have instantaneous knowledge of what you're doing or thinking...as long as you say it in 140 characters or less. You can tweet or be tweeted from your computer or your smart phone. (Personally, I'm still waiting for them to develop a camera that also acts as a telephone...)

Sample Tweet from twitter.com/alberteinstein: E=MC²

Now that's a lotta punch in one little pack. What are you doing? Redefining physics.

I think it's probably been two years since I first heard about Twitter. But only today did I go to the site to have a look. Not particularly interested.

I hear Facebook is so passé. Email is of course Neanderthal. (Perhaps if the Neanderthals had had email, they might still be around...) Blogs like this one way too cumbersome.

But I don't think I need another social networking site. I have enough trouble ignoring all the Facebook friends and LinkedIn friends and Plaxo partners and Grouply groups, not to mention failing to respond to emails, without having to worry about yet another response to the question, "What are you doing?"

What am I doing?

Damned if I know, and I'd like to keep it that way.

(2,234 characters, not including these...)

Shrinkage!

2009-03-03T22:14:00.003-05:00

Here's a little morsel for all you McNugget and KFC lovers to chew on.

In the course of his courierosity, HWSRN today had occasion to visit the quality control office of a medium-sized poultry processing plant in southern Ontariario. While there, he happened to notice a memo stuck on the board.

Now, I have to paraphrase what he paraphrased because the memo was too long for him to memo-rize, but it was essentially this:

If a shipment (flock) arrives for processing in which the average weight is 2.7 (kilos, thinks HWSRN) then the plant manager has to ask that it be re-weighed. If the average weight is still that high, then they have to determine, depending on weather and other conditions, whether they can temporarily set aside that flock (shipment) for a time to allow for shrinkage.

Translation: if the chickens are too big and heavy, they have to be temporarily put on hold from slaughtering and processing...not being fed...so that they will "shrink" to a suitable size.

Neither HWSRN nor I know what exactly is the suitable size and weight for a chicken about to be slaughtered. But I'm sure we've all heard the stories about multinational chicken purveyors who insist on having their chickens at such and such a size with such and so much weight. Standardization, you know.

Now think about this. You all know how chickens are transported...in those plastic crates, stacked 8 or 10 high, the chickens crammed into them. And someone has to decide to let them sit for a day or two or whatever without food so they'll lose weight. When the memo talks about weather conditions, etc., here's why. Imagine being one of those chickens in a crate on the bottom layer, in the middle of the truck. In the dead of summer, even if you've been freshly captured, when the hot sun beats down, your life expectancy is fairly low. (OK, if you're in one of those crates, your life expectancy is nil...but you know what I mean. And besides, a bird that's dead before the poultry processor kills it is disqualified from human consumption. HWSRN knows this from a previous life working for just one of those places...Yet another heavy load of negative karma to be worked through...and of course ignorance of the karmic law is no excuse...) But now add to the heat, lack of air, and cramped conditions...no food. Would you call this suffering?

The industry calls it, I guess, Standard Operating Procedure.

All in the name of uniform chicken nuggets.

Law-Bound in Ontariario

2009-03-02T22:33:00.004-05:00

There have been a string of shootings and assaults in the public transit system of Hawgtown in the last while. So now, one of our elected misrepresentatives has decided to introduce a private members' bill to increase the penalties for transit crimes.

As if we need a special category for transit crimes. Seems to me a shooting is a shooting whether it takes place on a bus or in a bank.

And it points out to me that we are gradually becoming law-bound in this good old province of Ontariario. They've decided to pass a law about nearly everything. I think that's called an omnibus bill. In the case of this private member's bill it's an omnibus-streetcar-subway bill.

I know a lot of people talk about the so-called "nanny" state. It occurs to me that it's more insidious than that. It's degenerating into a kind of micro-management where the focus and purpose of a law becomes increasingly narrow, and law and justice become more and more fragmented. By implication, of course, so does liberty.

(PS. I'm not saying this because I'm stuck here in this here Yoni School for Wayward Poets merely because of my grammatical fanatical and spelling rebelling. But you could use that as an example of some people deciding that things which in no way really affect them are "wrong" and need to be punished. And that's why you need to pay to attention to the people you elect to public office. Who needs yet another officious busybody telling you what you can and cannot do?)

Larry Sends Link Love

2009-03-01T23:46:00.003-05:00

Introduction to Buddhism

Alex Berzin's website is a goldmine of information for Buddhist study, from beginner to advanced. Audio recordings, transcripts, excerpts from some of his published material. There is a wealth of material on both sutra and tantra practice, especially on Kalachakra practice. A word of warning though for those of you who have already done some reading on Tibetan Buddhism...Berzin sometimes uses words which differ from the most common translations. The example which comes to mind immediately is his translation of "refuge" as "safe direction".

Check out the site. You'll be amazed and impressed.
Technorati Tags: Buddhism, Dharma

3 of Canaduh's New Ottawa Senators

2008-12-22T20:45:00.003-05:00

Prime Mystery Stephen Harpie today appointed eighteen new Senators. These new Senators will represent the Constipated Party. Mr. Harpie is trying to even up the odds cuz the Constipators have been playing short-handed for quite a while. Never mind that he holds the Prime Mysteryship at the pleasure of a malleable Governess-General and a fractious Parliament, which isn't even in session thanks to him. Never mind that he swore he would never appoint Senators who had not been elected (cuz he's in favour of a triple-E Senate...effective, elected, and equal...) (Actually, not really a bad idea...the main reason Senate reform hasn't happened yet is because it's being blocked by those nasty Gliberals who have been on the power play forever, and the Constipators have been short-handed...) Never mind all that. Never mind that Christmas is only a couple days away. Prime Mystery Harpie delivered some early Christmas presents.

Here are 3 of Canaduh's newest Ottawa Senators:

Pamela Walleye: Former TV person, alleged journalist, wrote a book about cats, former Consul-General to the US of A. Now she has the plum assignment of Senator from Skatchewan. OK, so it's a big apple.

Mike Puffy: TV Personality, alleged journalist, has a political gabfest talkshow. When not being an ostensibly unbiased reporter and interviewer, he expresses quite hard-line conservative opinions. How these two things may be reconciled is difficult to say. Mr. Puffy suffered a serious heart attack some time ago. His doctor told him he really should lose some weight, so Puffy unpuffed to the tune of 100 pounds. Not.

Nancy Greene: Skier. Famous. Loved by everyone. Shill for Mars Bars and GM.
And Constipators.

It occurs to me that except for Nancy Greene, the other two have journalistic backgrounds. And it further occurs to me that there are quite a few journalists or former journalists or alleged journalists holding high positions in the government of Canaduh. Yessir, Canaduh is run by journalists. Hey, if journalists don't know spin, who does?

This could actually be the defining characteristic that differentiates us Canajuns from Murricans. Canaduh is run by journalists. The US is run by comedians (both intentional and unintentional) and actors (both intentional and unintentional).

Political Christmas in Canaduh

2008-12-11T23:37:00.000-05:00

Christmas is just around the corner, and since Parliament is no longer in session (in fact, barely in session since last spring...) I'm sure our federal politicians will have plenty of time for partying and gift exchange.

What to give your favourite politician....?

Here are some suggestions for my favourite politicians.

Universal Declaration of Human Rights Turns 60

2008-12-10T19:18:00.005-05:00

Today is the 60th anniversary of the United Nations' adoption of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

I urge everybody to read this document which you can find here. It's a shimmering statement of human hope and aspiration, a template for the evolution of humanity.

After reading it, decide for yourself whether we are living up to the sentiments laid out in this document.

To help you focus your mind, here are a few events off the top of my head which have occurred since this declaration was made:

1. the creation of the state of Israel
2. the Korean War
3. the Cold War
4. the invasion of Tibet
5. the invasion of Hungary
6. the Cuban revolution
7. the institution of apartheid in South Africa
8. the Congo
9. the Berlin blockade
10. the Cuban missile crisis, US embargo
11. VietNam
12. Cambodia
13. the Duvaliers in Haiti
14. the anti-nuclear movement
15. the anti-war movement
16. SALT I & II
17. Famine in Biafra
18. Famine in Ethiopia
19. Rwanda
20. Somalia
22. Nigeria
23. Tienanmen Square
24. Pinochet in Chile
25. the Sandinistas in Nicaragua
26. the Green Revolution in India
27. the disintegration of the Soviet Union
28. the disintegration of Yugoslavia
29. Palestine
30. Taliban
32. 9/11
33. Abu Ghraib
34. Guantanamo
35. Burma/Myanmar
36. Patriot Act
37. the end of apartheid in South Africa
38. Canaduh's adoption of a Charter of Rights and Freedoms

Asymmetric Aphorism #4

2008-12-10T07:48:00.000-05:00

The thing about God is, he deifies description.

Will The Real Accordion Please Stand Up?

2008-12-08T23:02:00.000-05:00

Here's a photo of two of the accordions currently at HWSRN's house:

The black one on the left is the one he's had for many years. It's the one he plays with BFB. It has appeared on numerous recordings, travelled to the east, to the west, to the south, had its keys broken by luddite airline employees, and been to more than a few late night parties.

The red one on the right is one that he's had on loan for the last couple of weeks from the Lunchbucket Music Store. Here's a closer look.

As you can see, it's made by Roland. It's called a V-Accordion. This model, the FR-7 is the top of the line.

It's very sparkly, isn't it?

The thing is, it's not an accordion. At least, it's not a "real" accordion. The V-Accordion is completely electronic. There's not a single reed in the box.

It runs off a battery, (or optionally plugged in to a pedal board which plugs into the wall.) The sound emanates from speakers inside the accordion. But in order to make the speakers go, you have to play it just like a real accordion, pulling and pushing the bellows.

The accordion sounds in the V-Accordion are not digital samples. They're created by what Roland calls Physical Behavior Modeling. Now, HWSRN is not a techie. He still doesn't know the difference between a Low-Pass Filter and an Amplitude Modulator. And if he doesn't know, why would I? But it would appear that what Roland has done is created digital models of what the accordion reeds do physically when you pass air over them, and it's these models that are the templates for the sounds you hear...got that? They've come up with their best electronic examples of how an accordion actually works and translated them into the V-Accordion. (V for virtual I presume...) So the V-Accordion, rather than playing back someone's digital recording of an accordion, emulates the physical characteristics of the accordion sound. Physical modelling is not a new idea. It's at least ten years since the first synthesizer based on modelling appeared. But the idea to use it for an accordion is only about three years old.

However, the V-Accordion is not just an accordion. Out of the big cardboard box, it's actually about 35 accordions! The V-Accordion packs 35 "sets" and about 5 empty "sets" so you can program your own and put them into memory. A "set" is essentially a group of accordion registers ranging from Bassoon to Piccolo, the reeds of which are tuned to a specific style of accordion. The sets include Concerto, Classical, Studio, Italian, French, Tex-Mex, Cajun, Scottish, Irish, Celtic and a few variations of these.

See, for all you accordion non-afficionados, not all accordions are equal. Every culture seems to have its own characteristic sound. The Cajun sound, for example, is based on small but powerful diatonic button accordions. The Parisian sound is typically based on a chromatic button accordion tuned in a specific way. The V-Accordion has 35 different accordions, each tuned to emulate the characteristic sound of whatever style you're working in.

So what does HWSRN think of the sound? Well, let's put it this way. When he plays Under Paris Skies on the OldParis set of reeds, he wears a beret and smokes Gauloises. When he plays Come Back to Sorrento on the CiaoRoma set, you get pasta and prosciutto for sure. When he plays Laissez les bon temps rouler on the Cajun set, you know the crawfish got soul. And when he plays Misty on the Jazz set, it's so cool even the most jaded hipsters start snapping their fingers.

"On the other hand," sez HWSRN, "Do you remember the debate about the sonic differences between vinyl and CDs? The V-Accordion is something like that. It's disconcerting to hear the sound coming from little speakers in the accordion, and the quality of the sound is just a little harsh and brittle...like the difference between the "warmth" of vinyl and the crystal clarity of digital..."

The V-Accordion's features don't end with offering just 35 accordions, though. The next thing you discover is that it's convertible from a Stradella style accordion to a Free Bass accordion.

What does this mean? Well, OK, again for accordion non-afficionados, the type of piano accordion most people are accustomed to is one which utilizes the Stradella configuration for the left hand. This means that the first two rows of buttons on the left hand play single bass notes. All the other rows play chords -- major in the third row, minor in the fourth, seventh in the fifth, and diminished in the sixth. It is this configuration of bass and chords that gives the Stradella accordion its characteristic "oom-pah" -- bass-chord, bass-chord, bass-chord -- which has marred the reputation of this venerable instrument for decades, but which, it must be said, also provides it with considerable versatility because it essentially comes with its own rhythm section.

When you turn on the V-Accordion, its default mode is the traditional Stradella configuration. But even here, it has some surprises, because the V-Accordion has four Stradella configurations -- the standard two bass row setup, and three others that provide three rows of basses (and consequently fewer rows of chords.) This allows a bit more flexibility for playing bass runs.

And then! With just the flick of a few switches, the V-Accordion can be transformed into a Free Bass accordion. This is a whole different accordionish animal! Free Bass is what it implies. All the buttons on the left hand are transformed into single-note buttons. No chords. In other words, you can play melodies, counterpoint, or harmonies with both left and right hands. Free Bass is what has made the accordion a legitimate classical, orchestral, contemporary chamber music instrument.

But it's a whole different study for the player. The V-Accordion provides five different Free Bass configurations, where the individual notes are in a different order. (These, again, are cultural or ethnic variations...) Just like the Stradella mode, it's a system the player has to learn. (But it certainly makes for hours and days and months and years of happy squeezebox exploration!) HWSRN has not experimented much with the Free Bass section. He has more immediate practical considerations for the kinds of gigs he might be playing with this accordion...)

After you get tired of messing around with the accordion combinations (sometime around the year 2020...) you can start adding the built-in synth sounds. Trombone! Trumpet! Clarinet! Alto Sax! Tenor Sax! Scat Voices! Two kinds of bagpipes...with drone! Four organs! Flute! Violin! Pizzicato! Mandolin! Acoustic Guitar! Piano! All with velocity sensitivity and aftertouch! And that's just on the right hand keyboard! Plus, you can link these sounds to a specific accordion sound, so that when you want to play Come Back to Sorrento with mandolin in the background, all you have to do is call up that good old CiaoRoma musette accordion and the mandolin comes right along with it!

And by the way, the V-Accordion has the cheesiest trumpet you've ever heard! Did I say "cheesy"? Well, yes! What it is, is Mexican style trumpet with that over-the-top vibrato! It's unbelievably cheesy, but it's also the perfect trumpet sound for Tex-Mex, Tejano, and that perennial Johnny Cash favourite, Ring of Fire! If you want to know what I mean, listen to Ring of Fire. That's the Roland trumpet sound!

All right, have we had enough exclamation marks?

No!

The left hand has its own synth combos! Acoustic Bass! Bowed Bass! Fingered Electric! Picked Electric! Fretless! Tuuuubaaa! Tuubaaa and Acoustic Bass together! And that's just the bass rows!

Done yet?

No!

The chords have their own synth sounds too! Trombones! Saxes! Voices! Organ! Acoustic Guitar! Piano!

OK, enough exclamations...!

Back to the accordion for a sec. There are a large number of programmable features on the accordion side. For example, you can take each set of reeds and tune them as you want. There are seventeen sets of reed types -- classic, Italian Folk 1 & 2, French Folk 1 & 2, Bandoneon, German Folk, Jazz, etc. etc. You can program up to 7 sets of reeds to create a sound. You can adjust the amount of valve noise. You can detune or mute certain reeds. You can adjust the volume of the reeds. You can change the octave. It has on-board programmable effects: Delay, Chorus and Reverb! You can change the type of scale the right hand plays because there are eight different scales, plus 3 you can program yourself! You can set the timer, and when the roast is done, a little bell goes off! (Well no, not really...)

So what does HWSRN think of all this?

Here's the thing. Everybody who has seen and heard it...his bandmates, audience members, friends and foes alike...all seem to like the V-Accordion better than he does. They love the colour. They like the sounds. What sounds a little harsh to HWSRN sounds "bright" to someone else. Everybody's entranced with the plethora of features and the versatility.

But to HWSRN, there are some drawbacks. It's 35 accordions plus, yet it's not quite an accordion. The bellows response isn't quite what you get from a real accordion. HWSRN finds that sometimes when he wants to pull just a little harder to get an accent, there's nothing there. Or, to be specific, nothing more. He finds he has to set the accordion at maximum volume to approximate the dynamic range he wants. The key action is pretty good, a little spongier than he's used to, but this is because the keys require that extra little bit of movement for aftertouch.

The thousands of functions and features are what make it so versatile, but they also mean a good deal of time spent programming so that you get it just the way you want it. And this programming has to be done by means of a dinky LCD display on the top of the accordion. This means basically that you have to be wearing it to program it. The LCD display also informs you of what settings you are currently using, but it's so dinky you can hardly read it, and HWSRN finds that he needs his reading glasses to see it clearly, which is a pain in the butt...until he memorizes the screen options and doesn't need to see them clearly...

For HWSRN, the major drawback is that the instrument is always on. In order to play most of the sounds, you have to pull the bellows, just like an accordion. But there is no Treble Cancel switch, which means that when you pull the bellows, you inevitably get both left and right hands. HWSRN has a little secret. He doesn't always want the accordion to sound, even if he's playing something on the accordion keyboard (like, for example, one of his two MIDI keyboards...) So far, he hasn't found a way to "disconnect" the accordion. Also, because you have to pull the bellows, if you use one of the synth bass sounds on the left hand, the volume increases the harder you pull. Or if you forget to pull, the volume decreases. That's all right in one way. It's sort of more authentic and allows for dynamics. But HWSRN would dearly love to see a setting that allows constant volume. There actually is one, but it applies to the entire instrument. In other words, you don't have to pull the bellows anymore, but the accordion plays and the bass plays and it's all one volume and sounds like HAL on Ritalin.

Then there's the question of reliability. This sort of has no answer because the instrument is too new on the market to have much in the way of reporting. But if it breaks down, how fast can you get it fixed? And of course, on a gig, because it's completely electronic, if it breaks down, you got nothin'! Not even acoustic accordion.

Finally, there's the price. It lists for $5,500 Canajun. That's a lot of money, even for a high-end synth. But it's actually not a lot of money for an accordion. The electronic/acoustic accordion he's played for the last twenty years cost about the same...twenty years ago.

He's played it in several performance situations now. With a band it's virtually indistinguishable from a real accordion. To most listeners it's an accordion! It's in the playing that the fine points are revealed. HWSRN hasn't decided yet.

If you're interested in seeing or reading more about the Roland V-Accordion, check out the website.

Yoni School Federal (Re-)Election Watch 2008 Pt. 3

2008-12-04T18:48:00.002-05:00

GG Serves Harpie Pierogies

That's the rather bad joke being served around the country today as the Governess-General agreed to prorogue Parliament so that Prime Mystery Harpie would have seven weeks to blanket the nation with propaganda and do whatever he can to undermine the possibility of the Unholy/Unpatriotic Triumvirate of Dion & the Belmonts, Jack Layoff and Gilles Deceit.

Am I bitter?

No. It was a long shot anyway, and in some ways a little too weird to contemplate. Mainly because, in spite of the opprobrium which the use of the word brings, Gilles Deceit is a separatist. (Of course, I believe him & the coalition partners when they say that the support agreement is narrowly defined and the so-called Quebec national question is off the table. But really, why should I believe this? Almost nothing a politician says holds good for longer than it takes to say, "What's in it for me?")

And secondly, M. Dion & the Belmonts has not, in almost two years, proven to be an effective leader. What has really changed in the last week? Last night's video response to Mr. Harpie demonstrates a certain lack of savoir faire.

And then today, Mothercorp and EKOS released poll results, (done, spookily, by auto-response telephone technology with no actual people involved including, presumably, the poll respondents...) which show that significantly more people would vote right now for Harpie than voted for him in the last election. Which means that, once again, my political views are in the distinct, (and according to the harrumphing talk-radio class) anti-democratic, unpatriotic, far-left loony, socialist, dangerous intellectual spectrum.

I am used to this. In 30 years, I have never voted for the candidate who won. How's that for not having your vote count?

So.

Here's what I think is going to happen.

If the coalition actually does hold together over the next seven weeks, which is rather doubtful...

They will vote against the Harpie budget. Automatically a vote of non-confidence. Harpie will then go to the Governess-General and this time the fuzzy Parliamentary and constitutional issues will not be so fuzzy. He will present it as a straight case of defeating a budget, which should trigger an election. And the GG will again accede to his "advice" and we will be having yet another election. (Hence the Yoni School Re-Election Watch....) Just when even Finance Mystery Jim Blowhardy today admitted that we're in the worst economic situation in a generation...Another two or three months of governmental inactivity should help with that, eh?

And the Constipators will win the election, this time with a majority and we'll be stuck with Constipation for four more years. Because M. Dion & the Belmonts is a lame-duck leader, the Gliberals have no money, Jack Layoff never really stood a chance, and the Floc will be circling the wagons in Quebec. As a matter of fact, because the Constipators have managed to alienate many Quebecois in the last week, the Floc (which, need I remind you, is a separatist party) could very well end up gaining seats and becoming the Official Opposition again.

What a country!

Yoni School Federal (Re-)Election Watch 2008 Pt. 2

2008-12-03T20:00:00.004-05:00

The Great Canajun TV Showdown
Constipated vs. Gliberal
No NDP
No Floc

Prime Mystery Stephen Harpie demanded TV time so he could go to the nation and present his case for why the three opposition parties should not be allowed to form a coalition government. M. Dion & the Belmonts demanded equal time to explain why he should get to be the replacement Prime Mystery. Here is an exact transcript of what they said:

"Quack quack quack quack quack....quack..."

"Quank quank quank quank quank....quank...
Oh, and by de way, so sorry I could not get dis to you on time..."

Yoni School Federal (Re-)Election Watch 2008 Pt. 1

2008-12-01T18:52:00.002-05:00

I, like many Canajuns, have been watching with great interest the antics going on in Ottawa. Yessir, we live in historic times. The Constipated Government of Stephen Harpie, having been elected with a second minority only seven weeks ago, is now on the brink of being defeated by a non-confidence motion and replaced by a coalition government composed of the three opposition parties.

M. Dion & the Belmonts, pretty convincingly rejected by the electorate, is suddenly in line to become Prime Mystery...if only interim, until the Gliberal Party can choose a new leader. Jack Layoff & Gilles Deceit are his new best friends. The Nefariously Democratic Party will actually take part in the coalition government, assuming several Cabinet positions, and the Floc Quebecois will remain outside the government but support it in all the crucial votes.

How did this come about? Well, from my perspective, it's almost solely due to the stupidity, arrogance, pettiness and hubris of Constipated leader Stephen Harpie. Last week he and his bully-boy Finance Mystery Jim Blowhardy presented an economic statement which essentially said nothing, did nothing, promised nothing.

Except this:

No more public funding of political parties. (The system whereby parties collected $1.95 for every vote cast in their favour. Money paid by taxpayers. A system agreed upon by all parties several years ago.)
A renege on a rise in wages to the public sector union (which had reached agreement only a couple days before) and, oh by the way, we're going to take away your right to strike while we're at it.

The first was a direct shot at all the opposition parties, a way of kicking them while they were down. Completely gratuitous, at this time anyway. Not something that needed to be done immediately. But Mr. Harpie hardly ever passes up an opportunity to be mean-spirited, and try to manipulate political situations to his advantage. In this case, I think he seriously miscalculated. And it serves him right.

The second was a sort of shot at the NDP. Here we are in times of economic uncertainty, perhaps crisis, and the Constipators take a shot at workers. Nice.

Mr. Harpie most likely didn't expect the Gliberals under M. Dion & the Belmonts to suddenly develop a backbone. M. Dion & the Belmonts comes across a little more jelly-fishy than that. But I think there's more to it than this. I suspect there really is some personal animus now motivating not only M. Dion & the Belmonts but also Jack Layoff. We need not say anything about Gilles Deceit. His greatest satisfaction was to see the power of the Floc deprive Harpie of his majority government, and now to take away the Prime Mysteryship is like icing on the cake for him. But all three of them really want to stick it to Mr. Harpie. And I think he deserves it.

The situation is not without its ambiguities, however. After all, the people did vote more seats for the Constipated Party than any other. But collectively, almost twice as many voted not to have the Constipated Party as their government. The three opposition parties own a majority of the seats. And therefore, regardless of what unthinking parrot-like Constipators say, this is nowhere near being a coup. It's completely constitutional. The Canajun electorate set up this possibility by the way it voted. It's the way the Parliamentary system works.

Technically, the Harpie government has lost the confidence of the Common Bawdy House of Commons. Under ordinary circumstances, in a minority government, this would entail another election. But these are not ordinary circumstances. Now we have the three opposition parties who have just today signed a formal agreement to work in concert as an alternative to the Constipated government. Which puts the Constipators in a real minority. They will have to become the Official Opposition. (Provided of course that the Governess General agrees to let the coalition stand...)

Here's the problem: Stephen Harpie apparently did not get the message from the electorate that he had a minority government. ie. in order to forward his agenda, he required the cooperation of members of the opposition. He attempted to govern in the last Parliament as if he was a majority leader. And he practiced manipulation to humiliate and frustrate the opposition, particularly the Gliberals. This led often to acrimony. And in his arrogance, he ignored his own election law and forced an election so that he could get himself a true majority. But that didn't happen.

At first, it seemed that he and his Constipated Colleagues would embrace the spirit of cooperation in the new House. But then came the infamous economic statement last week. He completely forgot that he still needed cooperation from the opposition parties and decided instead to poke them all in the eye with a financial stick.

What he didn't count on was that the opposition parties might decide to practise cooperation without him.

So that's what we've got right now.

I admit it's a bit of an unholy alliance. I don't think, however, that it's the coming of the end times. Except maybe for Stephen Harpie.

The New New World Order

2008-11-08T19:31:00.000-05:00

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

Larry's Conundrum

2008-11-03T19:33:00.002-05:00

A wise acquaintance gave me this piece of advice many years ago:

If two people tell you the same thing, you should pay attention.

Unfortunately, he was the only one who ever told me that.

Hey Liberal Murricans! The Canajun Alternative!

2008-10-30T19:57:00.003-04:00

Here's a video from SlateV.com offering disenchanted Murricans an alternative to another four years of Republican government.

Good video. Manages to cover a good number of both Canajun & Murrican clichés.

(Disclaimer: The views expressed by this video are not necessarily those of blog publisher. Some Canajuns also seem to have contracted the virus of being uptight about immigration...)

Yoni School (US) Election Watch Pt. 11

2008-10-26T22:15:00.005-04:00

Here's an interesting website I just found called If The World Could Vote. It gives you the opportunity to vote for McCain or Obama and shows voting results worldwide.

Apparently the world loves Obama. McCain, not so much.

Here are a couple of partial screen shots:

Update: Oct. 26, 11:40pm
OK, so while I'm at it, here's a partial screenshot from a global Gallup poll commissioned by foreignpolicy.com.

Yoni School (US) Election Watch Pt. 10

2008-10-26T18:01:00.004-04:00

OK, I've found a couple of articles in Salon about things going on in the US election that disturb me.

Here's the first one:
See this photo here. It's from an article entitled: Another election nightmare in Florida? What are these people doing?

AP Photo/J Pat Carter

Well, I'll tell you. The caption for this photo is: People stand in line to vote early in Pompano Beach, Fla., on Oct. 23, 2008.

The article goes on to say that people stood in line for as much as two hours! In a voting place where there were "a couple of dozen voting machines and their operators...struggling in vain to keep pace with a flood of citizens. " And this for advance voting, mind you. Not even election day yet.

This is in Florida. In the good ole US of A. The country that is the beacon of hope for all struggling democracies. The light of liberty. The most election-crazy nation in the world! (I mean, really, where else does a presidential election consume the attention and energies of its people for more than a year?)

I am astounded that a country that holds so many elections should have its citizens standing in line for hours simply to vote. Haven't they figured out by now how to do it expeditiously?

(Remember when they had the troubles in Florida before? Of course you do, Mr. Chad...OK, remember Fidel Castro's remark about sending election observers to help out the poor Murricans? You thought that was just a joke, didn't you? Well, maybe not so much of a joke.)

Now, here's why I'm flabbergasted by the apparent unwieldiness of the Murrican voting system. You know, of course, that we here in Canaduh just had our own exercise in electoral inanity. The campain (sp. error deliberate of course...) lasted just over thirty days. None of this orgiastic self-flagellation and mutual-masturbation and puerile parodies of political poop-slinging going on and on in an endless round of gotcha journalism and obsessive attention to irrelevant details. Up here in Canaduh it's "wham bang thank you ma'am oops my minority government slip is showing!" Vote and be done with it!

In Canaduh we have a standing voters' list. They send you a card with your name and address on it, and the place where you have to go to vote. If you're not on the voters' list, it's easy enough to find out how to get on the list. And even if you don't get on the list before election day, there's a fairly simple method of making a declaration which will allow you to vote. (The only real flaw here is that there doesn't seem to be any serious attempt to ascertain whether the person is actually a citizen and eligible to vote. This includes people both on and off the list...Seems a little weird to me...)

On voting day, you take your card, show it to a couple of people, show them your photo ID (a new innovation since the last election), they give you a paper ballot, you go behind a little cardboard booth thingy and here's what you do:

You put a big X beside the name of your favourite candidate. The same way King John signed the Magna Carta. A big X.

You take it to Martha or Ethel at the table and watch them put it in the ballot box. Boom! Done!

When the polls close, they have somebody who passed Grade 5 arithmetic count the ballots. (I'm not sure, but I think they also have a scrutineer and he/she would be at least a high school graduate.) In other words, it's not rocket science.

On election day, I was escorted by a burly Yoni School attendant to the polling place, got my ballot, and was in and out in ten minutes!

So, all right, I admit I'm not intimately familiar with the US rigmarole. You have to register to vote first. But when you register, don't you get some sort of card or paper that identifies you as a registered voter? What more, then, do you need?

I suppose part of the problem is those damn voting machines. You know what I say? Toss em in the trash bin! Simple paper ballots. A big X. Why complicate matters? Unless there is some ulterior motive? I don't know, I'm just askin'.

Ultimately, I think it's a shameful state of affairs that the world's No. 1 democracy can't hold a national election in an efficient manner.

So, now, the second article is even more disturbing, in a creepy kind of way. The title of this article is: Chairwoman of N.M. GOP group calls Obama "a Muslim socialist".

Her name is Marcia Stirman. She wrote a letter to the editor of her local paper. Got a bit of flak about it too. But she is unrepentant. Here's what she said to the Associated Press:

I don't trust them [Muslims] at all. They've sworn across the world that they are our enemies. Why we're trying to elect one is beside me ... I still have freedom of speech and an opinion. If the Islamic group doesn't like it, well, I don't like what's going on in their camp, either.

Now, I'm sure some of you remember all the bad publicity Barack Hussein Obama received because of the rants engaged in by his pastor in Chicago. What was his name again? Jeremiah Wright, that's right! And his church? Trinity United Church of Christ. (Am I reading that right? I think so. Or maybe Christ is just another name for Muhammed.)

Obviously, the purpose of pointing this out is to remind Republican supporters that they simply can't have it both ways...nailing Obama for radical black Christian views and simultaneously branding him a radical Muslim.

But the creepy part...

Do people really believe these lies? Apparently they do. Even Republican Colin Powell can't seem to convince people about Obama's Christianity. (Approx. 10 minutes into the video, or here right at the beginning of the video.) Or make them pay attention to the real question: Even if Obama were Muslim, so what? Does being Muslim disqualify you? Does being Mormon? (Being Catholic almost disqualified Kennedy...) But this is bigotry, pure and simple. As for the socialist part, check out this video on Democracy Now, in which the publisher of Harper's Magazine discusses this pseudo-accusation, and then further discusses how the US needs to have a serious debate about some possibly socialist-type actions in the near future, given the sorry state of the US capitalism.

So I wonder about statements like those of Ms. Stirman. Either she's completely stupid, since on the evidence Obama is neither Muslim nor socialist. Or she's deliberately spreading lies. Hoping that some people will be ignorant enough to fall for them.

I'm sorry, I have to say this: frankly, I'm appalled by the average level of political discourse and debate in the US.

(Aside: This quality of being appalled is what marks me as a true Canajun. You know those phrases we use to describe pairs or groups of animals, such as "a murder of crows" or "a gaggle of geese"? Well, given the frequency with which Canajuns are appalled by circumstances and conditions they encounter, I think any group of Canajuns gathered together should be called "a pall of Canajuns"...)

It seems to lie somewhere between the gutter and the sixth circle of Hell. When it's not vile insults and falsehoods tossed back and forth, it's information overload filled with obsessive trivialities and inanities. This applies to both the so-called MSM (mainstream media) and online sites.

This is not to say that you can't find good and useful discussion...interviews with the candidates, analysis by perceptive people, arguments by argumentative people. But a significant percentage, if not a majority, of the material is unadulterated content-less crap. Even my favourite vaguely liberal news sites are not immune from this. How many different ways can we squeeze out to pop the pathetic Palin persona? And for the right wingers: how many different ways can we pin the "domestic terrorist" tail on Obama?

It's tiresome, already, OK?

And furthermore, even the official debates, from which many people form their decisions on who to vote for, are superficial and somewhat boring. Commentators are reduced to picking apart the candidates' demeanour. This is a useless exercise. It tells you nothing about what he or she might do when in office. But we get to hear McCain say...again...how Obama agrees to meet with terrorists...without preconditions! (Only stupid people can't figure out this is such an oversimplification that it amounts to misrepresentation...) And we get to hear Obama say "tax cuts for 95% of the population"...again.

Then we get to read about it on the web or in the paper. And we get to watch the same thing only shorter on the evening news. And then the next day we get to see them at a rally in Snerdgrass Montana saying what they said the day before in the debate, but with a different accent. Or we get to hear Sarah Palin telling Pennsylvania that California is un-Murrican. Or that liberal is un-Murrican (as "Communist" was un-Murrican in the 50s...)

And meanwhile you've got a hundred different versions of Joe the Plumber spewing some kind of venom and hatred around the webcam, everybody minutely parsing the off-hand statements, looking for the tiniest bit of dirt to fling at their latest demon. As if they even knew what "parsing" means.

But to get back to the original theme. Ms. Stirman kind of brings me full circle to the discussion in the first part of this post, because she may be a prime example of why there should be an intelligence test before you are allowed to vote. Or at least some sort of knowledge test.

If you can't answer a simple fact-based question like "What religion does Barack Obama profess?" or "What country held John McCain captive and practised torture on him?" then No Vote For You Baby!

Of course, this wouldn't prevent people from voting based on their hatreds and prejudices, but at least we would know that these people were deliberately allowing their hatreds to rule them in the face of facts.

On the other hand, if you think you've got long waits to vote now...what circle of hell is reserved for those who have to write a test before they vote?

Technorati Tags: US Politics, US Election

HWSRN Delivers Satori at Oktoberfest

2008-10-19T20:35:00.009-04:00

OK, so Oktoberfest is over now. It's history like the Canajun federal election. All that's left is the hangover.

I don't hear much from HWSRN when that whole Oktoberfest thing happens. He's like Shantideva during that time. The Shantideva of Beer. He eats, sleeps and shits. Not much else.

But perhaps, just like Shantideva, he possesses more enlightenment than meets the eye. He dragged himself into the Yoni School this morning to tell me all about his adventure on Friday night, the second last night of Oktoberfest.

The Black Forest Band, BFB to those who know, is famous for doing their own unique version of the Hokey Pokey. Friday night, just as they finished the song, some drunk or deluded guy, actually pretty clean-cut, well-dressed and normal-looking, grabbed one of the microphones off the stage. (Naturally, security was not on top of the situation...too busy watching gurls...)

The guy began screaming into the mic, "You're all a bunch of effing lemmings! Don't you see what they're doing? They're trying to brainwash you! Don't listen to them...!"

This went on for about fifteen seconds. At first nobody could figure out where the yelling was coming from. The band uses in-ear monitors and so they all heard what he was saying but couldn't figure out who was saying it. Not even the guys in the front line. But HWSRN, who resides in the back beside Phil In the drummer-guy, went out front and noticed the doofus on the dance floor.

Doofus was raving. It was necessary to shut him up. (Still no sign of any activity from the security people who, sez HWSRN, were really very lax all week long.) HWSRN calmly walked to the edge of the stage, looked down at Doofus, and then gave him a swift cuff upside the head. Not hard, just enough to get his attention. Doofus glared at HWSRN, and threw the mic at him, which he caught. And HWSRN promptly gave Doofus a little bonk on the top of the head with the mic. Then security decided they could handle Doofus and escorted him off the premises.

Within ten minutes, the news had spread around the whole club complex...the tent, the club, the basement bar, the parking lot attendants, buspersons, bartenders, waiters & waitresses. HWSRN was instantly famous.

He sez the guys in the band razzed him a bit, Mr. Grumpy Buddhist, non-violent cuffing somebody upside the head. But HWSRN replied with, "Sometimes what you need is just a little satori." Sudden enlightenment. That's what Doofus received. Just a bit of a smack to wake him out of his self-induced trance.

HWSRN sez his life is more or less complete now that he finally actually got to smack somebody upside the head...a phrase which he has used frequently over the years...

(A Sort of Postscript: Ironically, Doofus probably wasn't entirely wrong...The Hokey Pokey, and Oktoberfest partying in general, involves repeatedly repeating certain phrases, like (in the Hokey Pokey) "Polka Heads, Polka Heads". And Zicke Zacke Hoi Hoi Hoi. And E-I-E-I-E-I-O. And in the Chicken Dance, BFB has a habit of sending out semi-subliminal messages: "Let's Drink More Beer..." So there is a sort of indoctrination going on. You get a crowd of several thousand people with their hands splayed on their heads like a rooster's comb shouting "Polka Heads!" over and over, and one might think there's a certain collective insanity going on. But brainwashing and lemmings...well, that's a bit of exaggeration. There's nothing more nefarious going on than silly fun fuelled by beer.)

HWSRN also brought some photos taken over the course of the nine days, and some also from the pre-Oktoberfest show which included Tom Cochrane and Red Rider, and Burton Cummings. So here are a few backstage-type shots...

(A Sort of Second Postscript: BFB recorded the last 4 days, so stay tuned for live recording CD in the future.)

Yoni School Federal Election Watch 2008 Pt. 5

2008-10-13T20:45:00.002-04:00

Federal Party Leaders Do the Hokey Pokey

Tomorrow (Oct. 14/08) is the federal election in Canaduh. Here are your choices. I thought you might want some indication of who does the best Hokey Pokey. Observe carefully and choose wisely.

And after that, consider today's philosophical brain-teaser: What if the Hokey Pokey really wuz wut it's all about?

Yoni School Federal Election Watch 2008 Pt.4

2008-10-08T20:39:00.006-04:00

I think it's quite a telling fact that Stephen Harpie & his Constipated Cronies failed to even produce a platform until a week before the election.

And what is this telling fact telling us? It's telling us that Stephen Harpie had no compelling reason to call this election. It was simply cuz he was tired of working with his Constipated minority government, tired of having to cooperate with others. He can't even cooperate with his own ministers, let alone members of those other nasty inconvenient parties. Instead, he does his best to muzzle them. The fact is, Stephen Harpie does not play well with others.

As proof, I offer this excerpt from Harpie's Grade 1 report card:

Stephen does not play well with others. He has a tendency to be aggressive, supercilious and dismissive of others' feelings.
Ms. Michaele Jean

The result of all this is that Little Stephen Harpie really really wanted his majority government, so he decided to call this federal election (on the assumption that he would catch the other parties off guard and without a plan) and instead of coming up with a plan for the future governance of the nation to present to his precious electorate, he chose to run on the extremely fuzzy concept of....LEADERSHIP!

Who's the best leader? Who has the ephemeral qualities of leadership? Why, Stephen Harpie, of course. And not just leadership, but strong leadership. That's what Canaduh needs, a strong leader! (Do I hear Mussolini, anyone?)

Who's the best leader? If you ask Marco Polo, it's Kublai Khan. But I don't think Canajuns are too interested in a Mongol despot.

Leadership implies vision and goals. Stephen Harpie had neither of these when he called the election. OK, he had a goal. The goal was to win a majority government. But what he planned to do with this majority? Well, that's what we're not too sure of.

I will even admit that Harpie has been a reasonable administrator of the national angst. But "leader" and "administrator" are two different animals.

Vision and goals. That's what I want to hear! I want someone to sit down with me at the town hall meeting and answer the question: Whither Canaduh?

(I want someone to answer the question: Why does Larry use words like "whither"?)

I want somebody, anybody, to display even the smallest particle of statesmanship. I want all these guys and gals to demonstrate that they're not simply rowing the ship of state around in circles, hoping no one notices. (And just as an aside, I think that's part of why Obama is so appealing. He's selling vision.)

So anyway, M. Dion & the Belmonts has been hammering away since the debate about Harpie's lack of a plan. And for once, at least, Dion & Belmonts is quite right. Harpie has no plan. (Ironically, at least one of the Constipated attack ads accuses M. Dion & the Belmonts of exactly the same thing. File this under category: Pot Calls Kettle Black.)

Actually, Mr. Harpie's partly right too. M. Dion & the Belmonts has a plan, but only sort of. His plan is to sit down over lunch for 30 days with a bunch of experts and policy wonks and come up with a plan. How's that for a plan?

In the final analysis, Mr. Harpie's election plan has been torpedoed by external events. (Read: US market meltdown.) He's had no good sound bite for this one. He has no idea really what to do about it. (I don't think any of the other leaders do either...)

Harpie called the election for now because he anticipated that Canaduh's economy was about to tank. Better to have the majority before that happened than have to call an election in the middle of a recession. What he didn't foresee was the panic that's currently circulating and how quickly it would infect Canaduh.

So now we're all stuck without a plan. I hereby dub this Planless Plan The Greenback Shift.

Is the CBC's Hockey Anthem Challenge Completely Legit?

2008-10-03T22:53:00.005-04:00

Okay, you all know that my buddy Voin submitted a song to Mothercorp's Hockey Anthem contest. You can find that here. Now, Voin didn't really expect to win, altho he hoped he would. He also has at least one friend who also entered, and in fact spent some money on her recording.

With something like 20,000 entries, nobody really expects to win, but you do expect a fair shot at it.

But now there are questions being raised about the impartiality of the judging. The finalists have already been announced. One of them is named Gerry Mosby. You can hear his entry here.

Here's the thing: another friend of Voin's did some Googling and discovered that Gerry Mosby is a friend and co-worker of Bob Rock and Lou Pomanti, two key figures in the Hockey Anthem Challenge hierarchy. Voin's friend Nick found a bunch of links linking these individuals. Here they are and I think you should check them out for yourself:

http://www.wcmusic.info/files/abc/z/zappacosta04.php - This one shows Gerry Mosby as the producer and Lou Pomanti as one of the guitarists on a Zappacosta album.

http://www.canadianbands.com/Zappacosta.html - This page on Zappacosta says: Produced by Bob Rock, most notable for his work with The Payola$, it contained guest appearances by a whole slew of friends, including former Surrender members Gerry Mosby and Gerald O'Brien, Rock and The Headpins' Brian MacLeod.

http://www.playbackonline.ca/articles/magazine/19990419/25243.html -This one shows Gerry Mosby and Lou Pomanti as senior staff who work at Jungle Music Productions.

Of course, there could be more than one Gerry Mosby.

But if not, then this whole contest smells a bit off to me. And it reinforces for me the wisdom of having blind judging in contests of this nature. It's way too much of a coincidence that one of the five finalists happens to be a friend of the two top dogs.

The Mothercorp blog has this to say about it:

Now with regard to the potential conflicts of interest, in the event judges had personal or professional contacts with contestants, they were disclosed and appropriately noted through the selection process. Again, the final selection of semifinalists were made through unanimous agreement of the senior jury.

Seems a little thin to me...disclosed and appropriately noted...The blog and Facebook pages have received questions and comments about potential conflicts of interest. The actual comments don't appear on the blog. Why not? I haven't checked the Facebook page.

Finally, I have to say, I was not impressed by the way Mothercorp handled the issue of the original Hockey Night in Canaduh theme. I think it was mishandled. And the bad vibes just seem to be rolling on. I give them a 10 minute misconduct for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Yoni School (Combined) Election Watch

2008-10-02T23:18:00.002-04:00

Instantaneous But Infallible Impressions From Watching
The Dualling Debates

I watched both election debates simultaneously tonight. OK, not simultaneously, but serially. Some of this and some of that. Here are my firm conclusions:

Canaduh should pull out of Iraq immediately.
Gilles Deceit's eyes are exactly the same colour as Paul Newman's.
If Stephen Harpie had been president of the United States, there would be no need to bail out Wall St. (On the other hand, Canajuns would still be debating whether to pull out of Iraq.)
Sarah Palin pales in comparison to Elizabeth Mayormaynot.
Alaska is closer to Canaduh than it is to Russia.
M. Dion and the Belmonts will never be Prime Mystery of Canaduh because his mouth is the wrong shape and that's why he has such trouble with English. Ditto Deceit.
Jack Layoff and Joe Biden would make a great ticket...somewhere.
No matter whether you're Canajun or Murrican, you can't escape George Bush.
Hockey moms are master debaters, but only if they have cute bangs, know when to wink and how to dress a moose.
Stephen Harpie is not a moose.
Elizabeth Mayormaynot be the Roly Poly PM.
Jack Layoff and Joe Biden would make a great vice-president...somewhere.
Stephen Harpie and Sarah Palin would look good on top of a wedding cake.
George W. Bush's most disastrous decision was to cut arts funding so that now there are no climate-controlled trucks to move the old bones back and forth from one museum to another. Does this mean there will be no more conjugal visits between the Senate and the Common Bawdy House of Commons?
Stephen Harpie's most disastrous decision was to sit around the table with four opposition leaders on national television.

The dualling debates have solidified my decision about whom I will vote for. I've decided to vote the Republigreen ticket. Yes, I will cast my vote for Sarah (No Tax Cuts Fer Them Nasty Ole Oil Companies) Pale Palin and Elizabeth (How Many Times Can I Count On My Fingers) Mayormaynot. It's time to let the women run the free world so that the men can just run free.

Update on Nonie

2008-10-02T19:11:00.002-04:00

Well, we got some great news today! Nonie's out of the hospital and back home, feeling good but still tired. I can't tell you what a relief that is. It was wonderful to hear her voice on the phone today. (Yes, I'm allowed to use the phone at the Yoni School, phone sex is verboten.)

Nonie sent an email to her mail list and I'm including it here:

I finally got home from London to check emails, stack the bills and ward off the evil spirits of being broke and give God thanks for all my blessings. I came home Wed Sept 17 and sat down to check my emails before heading off to bed. I stood up and felt the whoosh of intense pain explode up the top of my head. I thought – oh shit- I’m dying. So being the spiritual gal I am I whispered ‘dad, mom, matthew, aunt annie, aunt mary – then realized there’s too many loved ones gone. But I heard no one so I figured – you had your chance buckos, I’m going to get through this one. I crawled up the stairs to my daughter’s room and told her to get me help fast. I was up at Fergus in no time and had that magical glow of –get her in there stat- look on my face. I had my cell phone and went to work. Let’s see – I should call block busters and order that movie. No nonie. Call your pal wayne of acoustic traditions in orangeville. He answers and I tell him what’s going on as the concerned doctor comes in to tell me my chances of survival and I might not make it though the night. Wayne hangs up and I’m on a bumpy ambulance ride to London from Guelph. We affectionately call wayne ambulance chaser cause he was hot on our heals. When I get to London they say they need to go in and take a look – will they need an electric screwdriver or will the old coil trick up the groin work. All I can say is – I’m glad I was out. When they woke me some 6 hours later the operation was done via the groin- thank God and the good medical staff London.

I woke doing the best chicken dance I could muster and looking around in the twilight zone. It really was a freak show. My poor children looked like they’d been through the wringer. I just wanted to hug them both. One of my best pals and cousin from Victoria was on a plane within an hour of hearing. Wayne was there with Eugene who looked shell shocked and that’s about all I can remember. Waking the next day crying out DRUGS. How about some morphine. No, that stuff is bad. By the 3^rd day I was begging for it. Wow, head injuries hurt. I went through an array of room mates. Some good – some down right irritating. Well, we do lose a bit of patience with these head injuries. It put good use to all those words I learned while hooked on uncensored ‘sopranos’.

Every day I got better and the only consistant thing was the really rotten food.
The most wonderful thing was sitting on the couch with my daughter today going through cards and emails and feeling like I understand why I got better so fast. Prayers and good wishes are so important, so thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I can’t wait to hug every one of you. I am going to put the cd release concert on – just need to gather up the energy a bit. Love you all and thanks for everything, nonie

Yoni School Federal Election Watch 2008 Pt.3

2008-10-01T21:19:00.003-04:00

Stepehen Harpie Plagiarizes High School Essay on Iraq!

OK, so Stephen Harpie read a speech in 2003 that was almost word for word what former Aussie PM John Howard had said a couple days before.

For those interested, Howard gave a speech in which he urged Australian participation in the so-called Coalition of the Willing to invade Iraq and forestall any WMDs and possibly discover Osama bin Laden having a drink in some little cantina in Baghdad. Mission accomplished.

In 2003, Harpie was Leader of the Opposition and he was trying to get Canaduh to go along with the Bushwhack plan. He made a speech. It turns out that it was the same speech that John Howard gave.

Now, I'm forgiving enough to say, "Who cares?" I'm not surprised that Harpie didn't know it was a case of plagiarism. You hire a speech writer, you expect him to write a speech, not borrow it. And if you have to Google every speech someone writes for you to make sure it's not cribbed from someone else, you might as well write it yourself. I will remind everyone, however, that plagiarism torpedoed the presidential hopes of a current US vice-presidential candidate, namely Joe Biden, back in the 80s.

No, the plagiarism doesn't bother me so much. What does concern me though is being reminded of Harpie's stance vis a vis Iraq back then. Personally, I knew (had an instinctive sense, a gut feeling) that invading Iraq was exactly the wrong thing to do. Not just me, of course. Many Canajuns. Many Murricans. Many world citizens thought this was bad business. And, of course, we've all been proven right.

But not Stephen Harpie. No sirree, he was all gung ho to go. Jean Cretin, the PM at the time, ultimately said, in his inimitable Franglais, "No go." And altho I didn't have much use for Cretin, I thank the stars he didn't drag Canaduh into that crazy man's war. Stephen Harpie, however, would have put us smack in the middle of that quicksand. That serious misjudgment alone should disqualify him from being PM.

Yoni School (US) Election Watch Pt. 9

2008-10-01T21:16:00.000-04:00

Sarah Palin Ain't Got It

I've been watching the clips of Sarah Palin's what is it now...2? major TV interviews, the latest with Katie Couric. She is quite obviously way out of her depth. She can't even give good answers to questions from mere journalists, never mind heavyweights.

The quality of her responses to the most important questions the US is facing today is no better than you might expect from an average high school student not quite prepared for the exam. Or, let's say, no better than the average Fox News watcher. Seriously. I mean, I remember what I used to do when I wasn't quite sure of the answer. She parrots the party line, speaks in generalities, and wanders away from the question because she simply doesn't have the facts at her fingertips. Really, the Murricans should expect much better from their vice-presidential candidates.

I mean, really...any idjit can say Eye-ran poses a potential nuclear danger and we shouldn't talk to them until they say "Uncle". Any idjit can say the US will obtain a victory in Eye-raq whether they like it or not. Any idjit can say we must support Israel because otherwise we're risking another holocaust. But Sarah Palin is not just any idjit. She's the vice-presidential idjit. (And I don't care whether she's the governor of a state...even us smug Canajuns have been known to elect idjits.)

And I'll pass without comment on some of her more outré ideas about the history of the world. However, my friend Windsor sent me a quip from Kieran O'Shea, in response to a question posed on the Cafferty File onCNN.com:

"I'm terrified at the prospect that [Sarah Palin] could someday become president. Someone who believes that humans domesticated dinosaurs should never have access to nuclear codes."

Nuff said.

Obama Fails to Take De Bate

Meanwhile, I know it's already old news, but hey! I'm not the Canajun Press! I watched the first presidential debate and here's my take on it.

Although Obama didn't lose the debate, I don't think he won either. He made his points but not with the kind of fire I would have liked to see. And he almost entirely failed to scoop up the innumerable opportunities for drama that McCain spread out on the table for him.

Here's what I think Obama should have said:

1. Mr. McCain, I'd like you to look me square in the eye when you make false or distorted statements about my platform and my record. Do you think you can do that?

2. After the second or third time of McCain saying, "Mr. Obama just doesn't understand..." he should have said, "Come off it, McCain, who is the one who doesn't understand? Here we have clear evidence (economic meltdowns, Iraqi morasses...) that things are not working very well, and you are the one proposing we stay the course. Either you are misleading the Murrican people or you simply don't understand!" And I mean, put some force behind it.

3. Never mind portraying the cool head under pressure. In my books, it's OK to display exasperation when it's warranted or can be effective. When McCain said, "Victory in Iraq is the central issue of our times..." Obama should have stopped him dead in his tracks and nailed him to the wall. (McCain certainly didn't have any scruples about interrupting Obama...) He should have said, "John, John, two things: First, the war in Iraq is certainly high on the list of priorities but I'll tell you right now that several million mortgage holders have another issue which is the central issue of our times. And second...Victory! Victory over whom? These Iraqis over here? Or those Iraqis over there? Are you suggesting we are fighting for a victory over Iraqis? Victory over Al Qaeda? That's a non-starter since Al Qaeda didn't exist in Iraq until we invaded...I challenge you to define "victory" in Iraq and tell the Murrican people how you intend to achieve this!"

All in all, Obama was just too polite, too agreeable. He spent too much time agreeing with McCain and being defensive when there was no need. McCain had his talking points, to which he returned over and over, no matter the question. Victory. Maverick. Obama doesn't understand...All of which are eminently assailable. Obama should have done more wailing and assailing.

(And one last little footnote: I nearly puked when I heard McCain say, "I know the vets. I know them and I love them and I'll take care of them..." Thank you thank you Papa McCain. Your paternalism warms the cockles of my cynical heart.)

Please Pray for Nonie

2008-09-22T19:23:00.007-04:00

My very good friend, singer-songwriter Nonie Crete suffered a brain aneurysm last Thursday, on the day of her album release concert. It came as quite a shock to everybody, including HWSRN, who played accordion and keyboards on many of the songs on the CD and was scheduled to play the concert with her. He tells me he heard the news only an hour before he was to have gone to the theatre for set-up.

I haven't had any news of her condition since Friday morning, but at that point she was (obviously) not in the best of shape. The doctors had not undertaken any surgery yet, but were monitoring her condition closely.

Nonie was really excited about this new CD and about having a full band backing her up. I think she thought of this as a sort of break-out recording, even though she's already recorded something like 6 albums and is quite well-known regionally and has had some national radio airplay.

But now, we're not sure what's gonna happen. Everything I hear about brain aneurysms discourages me. Except for the fact that she is alive! And being looked after by one of the best neurosurgeons in the country.

All this got me thinking this weekend. About Dharma. One of the Lam Rim teachings is about our precious human rebirth...how rare it is, how we shouldn't waste it. And one of the sections of that teaching is about death...how we don't know the time, and how there are so many potential causes of death compared to the "causes" of human life. As they say, any little thing can cause your death...an organism you need a microscope to see can attack you and kill you. Or an aneurysm...unsuspected until it strikes. So many causes of death, it's a miracle we survive more than a day!

Nonie turned 50 in May. You expect her to have another 30 years or so. We all expect to have another 30 or so. Or 40. None of us ever gets up in the morning and says, "Well, I expect I'll die today..." But maybe we should. In fact, the lamas teach us that, in a way. Expect to die today. It focuses the mind on the important things.

Well anyway, Nonie has not died yet. And we are all sending our positive energy to her for a full and speedy recovery. And I mean full because it would be a shame to have that talent impaired.

I would like to ask all my Buddhist friends to do Medicine Buddha practice, or tong len, or Chenrezig...whatever suits you, for Nonie and all suffering sentient beings.

I've included a song here from the (as yet) unreleased album, Comin' Home. The song is called Where Have My Angels Gone? Right now, we're all hoping they've gone to the hospital where Nonie is. (I'm not sure whether this embedded player will work. DivShare is not entirely reliable, to my mind. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But you can also go to Nonie's MySpace page to hear cuts from previous recordings.)

Money Markets: Just Another Word For Gambling

2008-09-19T21:48:00.003-04:00

I haven't had anything to say about the credit crisis in the US, which is affecting financial institutions around the world. And there's a good reason for that. I don't have the slightest idea what it's all about. But if you want an excellent primer on what's been happening for the last few months and the tumbling dominoes of the last few days, go here and for more analysis go here. Bottom line? It's all about gambling. High risk gambling. And government failure to regulate based on ideology.

But as a layman (not a Lehman, fortunately) I have something to say about this. As I understand it, this whole thing started to unravel as a result of what's called the "sub-prime mortgage crisis." It amounts to this: financial institutions were lending money to homebuyers at below prime interest rates. From the first moment I heard this, my reaction was: WTF???? How can you lend money for mortgages at below prime and make money? Obviously, I'm not the money market wiz some of these guys were, eh? But when it comes right down to it, I think these Wall St. wizards were running a sort of Ponzi scheme, a financial tower built on quicksand.

I believe it started with Bear Stearns. What the hell is a Bear Stearns, you ask? Damned if I know. I'm just a poor schmuck of a wayward pote. A brokerage firm I think. Used to live on Wall St. Well, the brokerage went broke. Hit a Bear market and suffered Stearns consequences. The Bear Stearns cupboard is bare. Barely there. The reaction around the board rooms was something like, "Whew! Glad it's not us! But after all, it's only one company..."

Enter Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac? Who are they, you want to know? Not who. What. Mortgage companies basically.

Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac? Now, I know the US is the home of Disneyland and Ronald McJob, but what kinds of names are those for serious companies (formerly) worth billions of dollars and holding the fortunes of thousands of struggling homeowners in their greedy little paws?

Fannie Mae? That's the title of an old R&B song by Buster Brown. Later became a signature tune of Jaco Pastorius, who turned it into a bass solo tour de force. But the name of a giant mortgage company? Give me a break.

I looked up the lyrics to Fannie Mae, just to see whether there was any sort of divination to be had there. Something spooky happened. The first set of lyrics to come up were these:

Well I want somebody to tell me what's wrong with me
I want somebody to tell me what's wrong with me
Oh I ain't in any trouble and so much misery
Now Fannie Mae, baby won't you please come home
Fannie Mae ae ae, baby won't you please come home
Yeah I ain't been in debt baby since you been gone
I can hear your name a ringin on down the line
I can hear your name a ringin on down the line
I want to know pretty love how do I win my time

MUSICAL INTERLUDE

I no o o o for me, I no-o-o-o for me
Well I ain't been in trouble and so much misery

You will notice I put one line in boldface. What’s this about debt? I ain’t been in debt until I met you Fannie Mae? Huh! I bet there are a lot of former homeowners singin’ pretty much the same tune!

However, those are not the lyrics Buster Brown actually sang. The words he actually sings on the recording (perhaps a little hard to decipher) are: Now I ain’t been myself, girl, since you’ve been gone. Where did these words about debt come from? I dunno. (Some smartass fooling around on the song lyrics sites?)

Meanwhile, there’s also the first line of the song: Well I want somebody to tell me what's wrong with me…

I’ll tell you what’s wrong with you Fannie Mae! You didn’t take care of business and you abused the trust of your clients, that’s what!

So the Feds had to pony up to keep Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac’s asses afloat.

Then came Lehman Brothers. Investment bankers. It appears they invested mostly in their own bank accounts. 180 years or some such down the tubes. Greed, I tell you…

And now, the latest domino to fall…AIG. Agh! What’s that? I’ll tell you. Re-insurers. See, in the financial industry it ain’t enough to have insurance. You need insurance for the insurance. In this case, what was needed was insurance for the insurance for the insurance cuz the insurance for the insurance didn’t quite cut it. And AIG was “bought” by the US Federal Government for the bargain price of 85 billion dollars. Not because of a sudden ideological urge to nationalize the financial industry. No. It was necessary to save the shoddy capitalist free marketeers. M-I-C…K-E-Y…M-O-U-S-E marketeers.

Some people, like Rosa Brooks in the LA Times, while satirizing the predicament of the US economy, have tossed out the “S” word – yes, the big bogeyman SOCIALISM. Never mind that she and others who do this simultaneously disseminate and perpetuate the delusion that government control of some institution equals socialism. (That could be the subject of a whole other post…which I’ll probably never get to…) In North America, at least, we have succumbed to the myth of the middle class. Except for the upper stratosphere, which in reality commands most of the wealth (an obscene proportion of it…) and the really destitute homeless pariahs of society, everybody supposes themselves to be a member of the middle class. Well, I have breaking news…

Yo! Bubba! I don’t care what your wages are. I don’t care if you’re on salary. Maybe you’re driving a Hummer and you got a nice little hot tub out there on the deck. I don’t care. If yer workin’ for the man you ain’t middle class. Yer working class and you oughtta wake up to that fact.

Meanwhile, just because a government assumes control of some major industry, or a portion of it, that doesn’t mean it’s suddenly become socialist. In fact, the whole purpose of all these bailouts and the hundreds of billions of dollars being poured into these failing companies is to bolster the twisted underpinnings of post-modern capitalism. There’s nothing socialist about it at all. You could say the government is desperately trying to find a way to help someone continue to make a profit out of this whole mess. And be assured that someone will profit. Here’s another phrase, or paraphrase, that you’ll see if you look around: what the Feds are doing with these bailouts (which comes from tax money squeezed out of all those people who think they are middle class but who really are well-dressed working stiffs…not the gamblers who created the problem) is privatizing the benefits and socializing the risks. In other words, someone will profit (not the working stiffs), but if they don’t profit, the working stiffs will take the loss. As they already have.

Now, if you were to define socialism as a system of government in which the politicians really cared for and looked after the interests of the vast majority of the people, in ways that mattered to them (which does not include, in my books, massive subsidies to mismanaged giant corporations in the hopes that meaningful jobs will trickle down), required (on pain of permanent liquidation…) corporations to follow the environmental, health, safety, and financial, rules for the benefit of the people they employ…If you defined socialism as just that, nothing more (and really it is so much more) then I say, the US and Canaduh too and probably every other country in the world could stand a good dose of socialism!

This financial boondoggle would look good on its perpetrators, just what they deserve, if it were not for the fact that it’s not they who are really suffering. It’s the ordinary people, Joe and Jane Lunchbucket who really take the hit. When they lose their houses, they lose their life savings. Just ask the people in Slovenian Village in Cleveland.

And why? Because we’ve allowed our economy to be run and manipulated by speculators and gamblers. Really, the stock exchanges are nothing but tarted-up casinos where guys in suits lay bets on the price of virtually everything there is. And everything is for sale. Especially if you’re using Other People’s Money. OPM. You think drugs are the problem in the good old U.S. of A? No, it’s OPM and gambling and betting on the price of gas! That’s the addiction that’s killing the golden goose.

Look around you. The price of gas. Artificially boosted by stock market speculators. The housing boom. Obscenely boosted by manipulated mortgage rates, ie. sub-prime mortgages. Food prices going through the roof when supposedly our methods of farming and production are more efficient than any other time in the history of the world? What is wrong with this picture?

But just to return, at the end of this unconscionably long diatribe, to the subject of the bailouts and the mismanagers and CEOs who mismanaged themselves into a Federal bonanza…

If I were king of the world, my first move would be to seize the personal assets of all those guys, and I mean every last dime, and spread it around to the victims of their mismanagement. Maybe we’d save somebody’s house!

Hawgtown Introduces "Cops In Schools" Program

2008-09-19T14:37:00.004-04:00

Having cops in the halls to provide security for students is one thing, but this is a little overboard, don't you think?

(Of course, this isn't Hawgtown, and the police aren't actually in the same room. They just have their small detachment in the same building. Still, it makes a great photo doesn't it?)

The State of the US Economy...

2008-09-17T23:20:00.003-04:00

I've been reading Karl Marx lately, so the symbolism here is just too poignant for words.

This photo is part of a Photo Essay on the Republican National Convention, at Mother Jones.

Photos and text by Jonathan Stein.

Keeping Our Priorities Straight

2008-09-16T23:47:00.000-04:00

Yet Another Record for Marijuana Arrests

clipped from www.reason.com

Jacob Sullum | September 15, 2008, 12:41pm

According to FBI figures released today, about 873,000 people were arrested on marijuana charges in the United States last year, 5 percent more than in 2006 and a new record. This is the fifth year in a row that marijuana arrests, which are up 167 percent since 1990, have increased. In 2007 marijuana arrests accounted for nearly half of the 1.8 million drug arrests; as usual, the vast majority of the pot busts, about 775,000, were for simple possession.

These numbers are kind of astounding, don't you think? 873,000 is (maybe) a little more than the total population of Lunchbucket and surrounding region.

Of course, we have to keep all those dope-smoking hippies in line cuz chances are they're Democrats...or Anarchists, which amounts to the same thing, eh?

Isn't it nice to know that the war on drugs is having such spectacular results? It almost makes you want to pour yourself a good stiff drink to celebrate!

Or...looking at it another way...

Our priorities may be straight, but a significant chunk of the population ain't.

2 Versions of the Same Thing

2008-09-13T01:21:00.003-04:00

1.
I'm a hitch-hiker across spiritual terrain
thumbing a ride on the dharma caboose.

Choo-choo!
Choo-choo ch'boogie!

(A poetically mixed metaphor I think...)

2.
I'm a hobo tramping spiritual terrain
riding the rails on the dharma caboose.

Choo-choo!
Choo-choo ch'boogie!

A Telegram to Gary Snyder

2008-09-13T00:57:00.003-04:00

Gary Snyder Japhy Ryder
beatpoet Zenmonk
Zenpoet beatmonk
Japan pilgrim climbs California hills

Berry-picker wilderness tramp
of the rucksack revolution
Lumberjack lookout on Desolation Peak
Cascades to Canada

Highways rivers civilized sinews
all gone in gone world
City Lights Frisco Bay
Desolation still stands

The Latest on Tibet

2008-09-12T23:28:00.004-04:00

(As you can see, blogging with Clipmarks has its drawbacks. I don't know enough about code to figure out how to change the size of this headline so it fits inside the box. If you know me or have read any of this blog, I myself have trouble fitting inside the box....)

What the headline is supposed to say is: Dalai Lama calls special meeting to discuss Tibet

clipped from ca.news.yahoo.com

Dalai Lama calls special meeting to discuss Tibet

DHARAMSALA, India (Reuters) - The Dalai Lama has called a special meeting of Tibetan exiles in November or December to discuss political unrest in Tibet this year and the future of the Tibetan movement, officials said on Friday.

The special meeting, the opening session of which would be addressed by the Dalai Lama, would be attended by Tibetan leaders, intellectuals and non-government organizations chosen by the Tibetan parliament-in-exile.

Tibetan officials said the meeting would see wide-ranging discussions about the future of the Tibetan movement.

"He will advise and he will give guidelines ... he will put before the general body his ideas," Chophel said of the Dalai Lama.

It looks like His Holiness has decided to call a Town Hall meeting of sorts. My guess is he wants to make sure he gets his views across to the Tibetans in particular who are agitating for more "forceful" action.

The Dalai Lama holds the loyalty and love of Tibetans and exerts powerful moral suasion. I have personally seen it in action as he addressed a group of Tibetans (admittedly on a religious issue, not a political one...) He was direct and forceful himself.

Not to say that he is closed-minded about this. Contrary to Chinese propaganda, I think he may well be one of the most open-minded people on the face of the earth. His training insists upon such a viewpoint. Nevertheless, he will have his say.

And he will listen.

I hope the Chinese are listening too.

9/11

2008-09-11T21:47:00.001-04:00

This anniversary snuck up on me. I happened to mouse over the date/time display on my computer and noticed that midnight had passed and suddenly it was that awful date – 9/11.

Strange to think that such a day could sneak up on you. But see, even for the people whose loved ones and friends died in 2001, life goes on. Not much of a life, perhaps. A vastly changed one, certainly. But still, it goes on.

The world undoubtedly changed forever that day seven years ago, and not for the better. 9/11 is the day we began our walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Unlike the words of Psalm 23, however, we do not “fear no evil”, for we have entered into the Age of Fear. The world has become a fearful place. No more fearsome, I think, than it ever was, but we are more fearful. At least, some of us are.

Fear can manifest in many ways. Anger and aggression are common responses, and that's the way the US chose to respond. By a fatal twist of history (some might say a fraudulent theft of an election), it just so happened that the White House was populated by George W. Bush and his band of refugees from the first Gulf War. These men were quick to seize the circumstances and whip the fear of the Murrican people to feverish heights. That fever has not yet entirely abated and the worldwide psyche has suffered because of it.

As I think of it now, isn't it a little odd that a nation as God-smacked as the US purports to be could not "fear no evil" and be comforted by the knowledge that the Lord was with them and had his rod and staff. Unfortunately, the US did not spare the rod, and the staff turned out to be the General Staff.

Whether the actions of the Bush administration were truly sincere I can't begin to guess. But they certainly were wrong-headed. And here we are in 2008, a mere seven years since the atrocity of 9/11, and the real power and prestige of the US has never been lower. Not even Viet Nam brought the US into such disrepute.

And lest we forget...the Murricans were the victims! Sad to see that the recovery process has not gone well. But then again, I see hope in the kind of enthusiasm that has been engendered in this presidential election year. Maybe it was hard to think about recovery while Bush was still in office. Maybe a change of president will bring a change of heart.

On this day seven years ago, my heart went out to the Murrican people. Today too.

Yoni School Federal Election Watch 2008 Pt. 2

2008-09-10T22:43:00.007-04:00

Update on Green Party Debate Debacle Sept. 10:

A victory today for grassroots outrage. This afternoon, Jack Layoff agreed to let Elizabeth Mayormaynot participate in the debates, and after Jack said OK, Stephen Harpie said OK too.

I'm taking full credit for this about face. I personally sent emails to Harpie and Layoff and Mothercorp...very snide emails. I am capable of full-metal snidity when provoked. Here are those emails:

To Jack Layoff:

Jack, Jack, Jack, I never thought I'd see the day that you would actually agree with Stephen Harpie. You have seriously lost face in my books. I fear that the NDP will never again be able to think outside the box. Or are you just pissed off because Dion out-manoeuvred you in a potential alliance?

If the NDP still had any socialist or democratic socialist DNA, you might have a claim to represent a real alternative. As things stand, however...

The Green Party ought to be in on the debates. They represent a significant chunk of voters. You, Mr. Democracy, ought to be leading the charge.

To Mr. Harpie:

You and the other leaders are acting like a bunch of twerps by not allowing Elizabeth Mayormaynot to express the voice of several million Canadians in the televised debates. What's the matter? Ya scared?

I'm not a member of the Green Party, but I want to hear what she has to say, and how she stacks up against the twerp factor. If you and the other party boys want to have your little circle jerk debate, fine, but don't be asking to do it in public. As for the rest of your so-called programs and platforms and solutions, my suggestion is that you should just go and debate yourself.

So because they could not bear to face my withering snidifery, they backed off. But not exactly with good grace. Here's an excerpt from the Canajun Press article:

A spokesman for Harpie said the Constipators still object in principle to Mayormaynot's presence, but given that Layoff has changed his mind, the prime minister will not boycott the debates if the Greens are admitted.
"We're not going to stand alone on a point of principle," said Kory Teneycke. "We don't think she should be there. But if the NDP have decided they're changing their position, we will not stand alone."
But some Constipators suggest it wasn't Harpie's idea to keep Mayormaynot out of the debates.
"The truth of the matter is the NDP took a position and we agreed to back them because we, like the NDP, thought that this was unfair on principle," said Sen. Marjory LeBreton, the Constipated campaign co-chair.
"But if Jack Layoff has decided to change his position, I mean, we're not going to stand in the way of her participating in the debate."
Harpie's change of heart came less than an hour after Layoff's about-face. Layoff said the issue had "become a distraction" and he did not want to continue "debating about the debate.

In other words, Stephen Harpie doesn't care enough about "principle" to stand alone in the face of strong and vocal opposition. (Sorry Stephen, you don't get to win here. I think it's good that you finally agreed to let the Green Party into the party, but you should not have phrased it in those terms...principle...not going to stand alone...sheesh!)

BTW, after all that, Elizabeth May...or...maynot show up.